PLEASE NOTE: There may be some inaccuracies in this transcript. Due to some errors, the transcribed versions of eps 15-30 were lost. Posted below are lightly adapted scripts not 100% accurate to the final versions of each episode. At some point, this will be corrected, but due to time constraints and the bulk of the work at Hanging Sloth Studios falling to Sloth in Chief Pippin, there is a limit to the amount of work he can reasonably do on a short time frame. However, we believe that it’s important to post transcripts to make our episodes as accessible to as many people as possible. Please bear with us as we try our best to correct this issues, and if you want to make adjustments to these transcripts, please mail them to hangingslothstudios@gmail.com with any changes you have made highlighted. Thank you for your patience!
- PT1 ELIZA/NOAH
NOAH
[groaning]
God. What… what happened? Where am I?
[pause]
Hello?
E-LIZA 2
[separate recording track]
Hi Mr Davies, can I help you?
NOAH
Is that a… a bloody E-Liza? What?
[pause]
God, my head.
Wait. Did they drug me?
HEY. DID YOU DRUG ME?
Oh my god, they drugged me, didn’t they?
E-LIZA
I’m sorry, Mr Davies, I’m afraid I don’t understand the question.
NOAH
What’s there to understand?
E-LIZA
I’ve been provided with several questions for you to answer.
NOAH
I thought I’d made it pretty clear I’m not answering any of their questions.
E-LIZA
The first question is ‘why do you want to see Robin Jaeger’.
NOAH
Oh. So you’re admitting he’s here then?
E-LIZA
Please respond to the question.
NOAH
I refuse to answer any of your questions. You can’t hold me like this. It’s against the law!
E-LIZA
Under section 24A of the Police and Criminal Evidence Act 1998, the general public has the right to perform an arrest under reasonable conditions. Would you like to know why you have been detained?
NOAH
I know why you’ve got me. But there’s a time limit on this. You need to call the police. And when you call the police they will make you let me go because I was doing was standing there. I didn’t touch anything. I had no weapons.
E-LIZA
We have reason to suspect you will damage property and or harm yourself or others.
NOAH
You’re damn right I’ll destroy your bloody property. You’ll be fodder for recycling, E-LIZA, how about that?
E-LIZA
U-Co requests you do not damage further property.
NOAH
I bet they fucking do
[smashing, crackling, electrical whine]
- PT2 SHELLY/E-LIZA
E-LIZA 1
End of recording.
SHELLY
I didn’t ask you to play that, E-Liza. It’s the middle of the night. The laptop is closed. E-Liza—
E-LIZA
Playing file zero zero zero eight two zero
SHELLY
No wait! Stop!
- PT3 NOAH/SOPHIE
NOAH
Hello… is there anybody out there?
[sigh]
I’m going to die of boredom. Or starvation. Hello? Could I at least get a glass of water?
[tapping, humming alouette]
Alouette, vous etez alouette…
Hello? Bonjour?
[sigh]
[tapping]
Fly, fly, fly. All your life, you were only waiting for this moment to arrive…
[tapping]
Hello? Hellooo?
Just a chair. A chair! My kingdom for a chair!
[metallic clunking, groaning, a door creaks open]
[shuffling as Noah backs into a corner]
NOAH
Bonjour, qui etez vous?
SOPHIE
Mr Davies. You’re causing quite a ruckus.
NOAH
I know you. I’ve seen you before. You spoke to him, and you were there at the beach.
SOPHIE
What beach? You’re talking nonsense.
NOAH
Come off it. You know exactly what I mean. You were at the beach at Huddau Bay. I saw you, with him.
SOPHIE
You were shouting about Robin Jaeger.
NOAH
Ah, so you were listening.
SOPHIE
Mr Davies, need I impress upon you the seriousness of this situation?
NOAH
I’m not sure. I think it’s only been, oh, eight hours since you locked me up in here? And that’s not counting the three hours I spent in the other room, or the time I was definitely unconscious because you definitely drugged me. Whatever your E-Liza preset says, you can hold me for a reasonable amount of time without calling the police, but drugging me? That’s not legal.
SOPHIE
You were in extreme emotional distress. It was deemed necessary by the fully qualified medical staff—
NOAH
I was in extreme emotional distress because you locked me up and tried to get a computer to interrogate me. What is it? Can’t even be bothered to spare an actual human? Or is it that you just don’t have any left?
SOPHIE
I’m not sure what you’re implying—
NOAH
You are. I knew Robin Jaeger, and I know what you’ve done to him. I thought I was losing my mind when I first saw him. I thought that couldn’t possibly be him, not my Robin, no way. But it was. And yet it wasn’t. All at once he was my Robin and yet he was completely and utterly not.
SOPHIE
I, I’m sorry, your Robin?
NOAH
Oh, please tell me you at least bothered to figure that out before you came in.
SOPHIE
You’re Noah Davies.
NOAH
Yes. I am. Well done.
SOPHIE
Why are you so interested in Robin Jaeger?
NOAH
Wow, wow. You really don’t know, do you? Did you not even ask him? Did you not even just, oh, run my name by him when you heard I was asking after him? Did you not even bother?
SOPHIE
I’m afraid I have no idea—
NOAH
[now openly furious]
Clearly fucking not. Crystal clear. Fucking transparent. Have you ever had a conversation with him? Even one?
SOPHIE
Mr Davies.
Mr Jaeger is quite busy, with various—
NOAH
Oh no, don’t start with that, I saw him on the news the other day, he was a fucking automaton! To be honest, even that’s impressive because the last time I saw him he was dead.
SOPHIE
You knew him.
NOAH
Yes I bloody knew him.
SOPHIE
But surely if that’s the case then the situation should be quite clear to you. Any of the support currently offered to you by U-Co will be withdrawn if you give up any privileged information.
NOAH
Ah, well, in that case you’d be wrong, actually. You see I never signed one of your hateful little NDAs. Thing is, the family and I, we never really got on. I was never very much to their tastes. Or rather, I was at one point, but then I made some… how do we say, changes, which they were less than pleased with. And they were less than pleased about what it told them about their son. Your threats are hollow. You don’t scare me.
SOPHIE
Is that so.
[footsteps]
I was under the impression we’d had you detained for thirty six hours already. I’m sure there’s nothing for you to worry about.
[door clunks and creaks]
NOAH
Wait. Wait!
[thuds against the door]
Wait. That’s a fucking camera. Jesus christ.
[crunch]
- PT4 SHELLY/E-LIZA
E-LIZA
End of recording.
SHELLY
E-Liza, I’m serious, what the hell is going on! Please stop! What the hell am I supposed to do? I’ve pressed the off button a million times, I’ve closed you, for god’s sake! Stop playing!
E-LIZA
Playing file zero zero zero eight two one.
- PT5 NOAH
NOAH
Let me speak to Robin Jaeger! That’s all I want! To talk to Robin! And then I’ll go and you’ll be rid of me, I promise.
Just ask him, just tell him Noah Davies is here, please, he’ll want to see me! I’m sure he’ll want to see me. Just let me talk to him. Please let me talk to him.
I shouldn’t have hung out outside, I know, I’m sorry, but every time I call you, your people hang up on me. I just need to speak to him. I’m not a reporter or a stalker, I just… Please. You have to understand. I need to know he’s alright. I just want to know he’s alright.
[sniffling, crying]
NOAH
Please.
Wait. Is that. That’s another camera. You promised there would be no more cameras!
[crunch, whine]
- PT6 SHELLY/DAVE/E-LIZA
E-LIZA
End of recording.
DAVE
slow down, Shelly, I can’t—
SHELLY
It’s E-Liza, she’s gone rogue, she’s just playing through all the files in ‘Recordings number two’. When it started I slammed the laptop shut and she kept on going! I don’t understand.
E-LIZA
Playing file zero zero zero nine two four
- PT7 NOAH/SOPHIE/ALICE
[Noah is humming alouette and drumming his fingers against the wall]
[the door clunks and creaks metallically]
NOAH
Is that… coffee?
SOPHIE
We’ve decided to let you go without involving the police.
NOAH
I want to see Robin.
SOPHIE
I’m afraid that’s not possible.
NOAH
Why won’t you just let me see him? Please. I’ll sign a bloody NDA, whatever you want. I just want to see him. I need to know he’s okay.
SOPHIE
He’s in good hands, Mr Davies. I promise you that.
NOAH
You know what happened to him last time somebody told me he was in good hands?
[humourless laugh]
[cracked voice] He died.
SOPHIE
I’m sorry, Mr Davies.
NOAH
You’re not. I don’t understand what you’ve done to him, but I know that you’re not sorry for it. He wouldn’t be on the news if you were, on billboards, on the cover of vogue.
Please just let me see him.
[beat of silence]
SOPHIE
It’s just not possible.
NOAH
How can it not be possible? He’s here, isn’t he? You’re parading him about on TV. Why can’t I speak to him?
[beat]
He’s asked not to see me, hasn’t he?
Is that what it is? He doesn’t want to see me?
[beat]
I just— is he okay? Does he… is it nerves, on the TV? Is that why he hardly says anything at all?
Please. Please just tell me something. Anything.
[beat of silence]
SOPHIE
I’m afraid we are going to need you to sign an NDA.
NOAH
About what?
SOPHIE
I— I know. I’m sorry.
[knocks on door]
[door clunks and creaks open]
NOAH
Oh, god.
SOPHIE
Is there a problem?
NOAH
[quickly] No.
ALICE
This is our general NDA, a brief overview, the agreement is that U-Co holds ownership of the information outlined in the agreement, and—
NOAH
I won’t sign any NDA.
SOPHIE
Then I’m afraid we’re going to have to contact the authorities.
NOAH
Well, good! I’m sure they’ll be fascinated to know what you’ve been doing with me for the past two days.
SOPHIE
We understand you were experiencing a lot of distress, so we won’t bill you for the extensive property damage—
NOAH
To cameras you were using to film me without my consent.
SOPHIE
The expense is quite considerable but—
NOAH
No. It’s not happening.
ALICE
You said it yourself, we haven’t told you anything. You have nothing. Please, Mr Davies, just sign the form so you can leave.
SOPHIE
Yes. Thank you, Ms Jones.
NOAH
Will you tell him I was here?
SOPHIE
Mr Davies…
NOAH
Please. Just tell him I was here. Tell him I came. Please.
ALICE
I’ll tell him.
SOPHIE
[quietly] Alice.
NOAH
Thank you.
ALICE
Will you sign the NDA? Please?
NOAH
Yeah. For what happened since you detained me.
ALICE
What else would it be for?
NOAH
This is ridiculous.
SOPHIE
Mr Davies. I really don’t want to keep you here any longer
NOAH
Alright then.
[pause]
There. Signed.
SOPHIE
Thank you Mr Davies. You’re free to leave.
[there is a moment a quiet, then Noah gets to his feet. The door clunks and creaks open, before falling shut again]
ALICE
Who was he?
SOPHIE
I really don’t know.
ALICE
Did he know Robin Jaeger or something?
SOPHIE
I don’t know. At first they were worried he was press, apparently. That’s why they held onto him.
ALICE
And you don’t want the press here.
SOPHIE
Absolutely not.
ALICE
I was wondering, Dr Bennett.
SOPHIE
Sophie. Please.
ALICE
Sophie. I was wondering if you could maybe talk to me a little bit about… the limbs project? I know I have no place to ask and I’m just admin, but it’s just all so fascinating. The work you do here… it’s. Well. It’s incredible.
SOPHIE
So that’s why you’ve been sneaking into my subject’s wards.
ALICE
I— I—
SOPHIE
[fondly] Don’t worry, they’re not easily disturbed. A little curiosity is only natural.
ALICE
So. You’ll talk to me about it?
SOPHIE
I see no harm in it.
ALICE
Great! Tomorrow, at… three? In the canteen? We could get coffee.
SOPHIE
You’re welcome to come with me on my rounds tomorrow morning.
ALICE
Oh, that’d be great. And then maybe coffee, afterwards.
SOPHIE
Oh. Oh! Okay. Coffee.
ALICE
Yeah?
SOPHIE
As I say. I don’t see why not.
- PT8 SHELLY/The Snake
[crackling, hissing, fizzing]
SHELLY
E-Liza? E-Liza!
No, no, no! Dave, she’s just cut off, has yours done the same thing? Dave?
My phone is dead too. Jesus.
[computer whirring sounds]
SHELLY
E-Liza? The screen is completely black, E-Liza, are you in there? E-Liza!
[gasp] A flash! You’re in there!
Wait, no. A… a little line. Like someone is typing something.
A.
Aloo
Alouette.
Alouette.
Je suis…
Alouette.
Alouette.
Alouette…
THE SNAKE
[heavily distorted]
Je te plumerai, little bird.
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