PLEASE NOTE: There may be some inaccuracies in this transcript. Due to some errors, the transcribed versions of eps 15-30 were lost. Posted below are lightly adapted scripts not 100% accurate to the final versions of each episode. At some point, this will be corrected, but due to time constraints and the bulk of the work at Hanging Sloth Studios falling to Sloth in Chief Pippin, there is a limit to the amount of work he can reasonably do on a short time frame. However, we believe that it’s important to post transcripts to make our episodes as accessible to as many people as possible. Please bear with us as we try our best to correct this issues, and if you want to make adjustments to these transcripts, please mail them to hangingslothstudios@gmail.com with any changes you have made highlighted. Thank you for your patience!
PT1 NOAH/DAVE
NOAH
Hello? Inspector Hughes?
DAVE
Mr Davies?
NOAH
Yes. I’m calling about U-Co and Robin Jaeger.
DAVE
As I explained to you the other day, Mr Davies, we’ve had to close your missing persons’ report as Mr Jaeger was pronounced dead some time ago.
NOAH
No. I know. But I just. You need to understand some things, okay?
Before Robin died, he was talking to this company, U-Co. They make those synthnapses, you know? Robin was in the army. Apparently U-Co gets a lot of veterans as customers. They’re working on something new, Robin said. Not just artificial synapses, but whole synthetic limbs to replace ones people have lost.
DAVE
Had Mr Jaeger lost a limb?
NOAH
No. That’s the thing. These limbs they’re making, they’re just in development stages now. They need people to donate their bodies to science. Robin said they need a specific kind of body for their tests or whatever to work. Because of that, people who get, I don’t know, shot in the head, where their brain is dead but the rest of their organs are pretty decent, they’re the ones they need. You see why the army is a good place for them to go looking.
DAVE
I suppose.
NOAH
Robin was discharged from the army the year before he died. He… Well. He tried to take his own life. You’ve seen the death certificate, you know he ended up successful in the end. But the first time they just sent him packing. I never really understood it, but, I don’t know, I expected some kind of compensation for when he left. But he got none. In fact, he was discharged dishonourably. Do you know what that means?
DAVE
I know it’s a bad thing.
NOAH
I have no idea what happened. He was in the SAS, you know, secret service stuff, all really confidential. I don’t know what happened but I know it was enough for him to. Well. Break, a bit. And it wasn’t long after that, U-Co was speaking to him again.
DAVE
After he’d attempted suicide?
NOAH
You see what I mean? He wasn’t in his right mind and they came to him anyway. Because he was dishonourably discharged, he wasn’t getting any more money from the army, and he was such a mess, he couldn’t work. It was… it was hard for him. For both of us. But the thing is, they offered him money.
DAVE
To donate his body?
NOAH
Yes. It’s legal, apparently. But. He was completely broke. They were offering fifty grand.
DAVE
You think he wouldn’t have killed himself if they hadn’t offered money for his corpse?
NOAH
I told you U-Co needed a certain kind of dead body, didn’t I? Well. The brain uses 25% of the body’s oxygen, Detective. It’s the first thing to go when the body is oxygen starved. A beating heart cadaver, the kind U-Co needed for their tests for these limb things, all the organs need to be able to work, but the brain needs to be completely dead. You know a sure fire way to do that? You stop yourself from breathing. That’s what Robin did, detective.
DAVE
This is a very serious allegation, Mr Davies.
NOAH
I know. That’s why I filed a missing person’s report. I hoped you’d put the pieces together yourself, but that was clearly too optimistic.
DAVE
Mr Davies, I’ll remind you that—
NOAH
Wasting police time is an offence, I know. But I’m not wasting your time. I wasn’t then and I’m not now. What they did to Robin was wrong. I don’t know for sure but… I don’t know. Maybe he’d still be alive if they never came and said what they said to him.
DAVE
Do you have any evidence?
NOAH
Only what I’ve told you. Again. That’s why the missing persons’ report. I’ve looked into U-Co enough to know that anyone going toe to toe with them in court is at a disadvantage. If you’re going to make this accusation, you need to have your story straight before you even so much as glance at them in public.
DAVE
And what is that accusation, Mr Davies?
NOAH
They killed Robin Jaeger.
DAVE
Hmm.
NOAH
Medical Malpractice. That’s the angle.
DAVE
Okay. Mr Davies, I can’t make any promises, except that I will do what I can.
NOAH
That’s all I’d ask of you, Detective.
DAVE
Good.
NOAH
Thank you.
DAVE
You said you saw him, at the beach.
NOAH
I— yes. The Synthnapses. I have a theory, for what happened.
DAVE
Oh?
NOAH
I… I can’t. Is there a way for us to meet, in person? I know it sounds stupid, but I don’t want to talk about this on the phone.
DAVE
I’m sure U-Co aren’t tapping police phone lines, Mr Davies.
NOAH
You’re sure, are you? How? They’re so. They’re well protected. They’re dangerous, Detective. Please.
DAVE
Okay, fine. We’ll meet in person.
NOAH
Thank you. [hissing, distortion]
PT2 NOAH/DAVE
DAVE
Noah. Hello.
NOAH
Hi, Detective. I’m sorry to hear about your accident.
DAVE
I got the flowers you sent. I can’t see them, but I’m assured that they’re there, so thank you. And it’s just Dave, at this point, I think. I’m sorry I can’t be of any more use to you.
NOAH
No. Don’t be stupid. You did everything you could.
DAVE
No. I should have been more careful. Going to the Huddau Bay facility myself was a mistake. Maybe if I’d actually listened to you, none of this would have happened.
NOAH
You think they have something to do with your accident?
DAVE
No. Not directly. Not exactly. But they came to me, afterwards. Offered to move me up the list.
NOAH
The list?
DAVE
Apparently, synthnapse treatment to fix my eyesight is a good five or six years wait on the NHS.
NOAH
Ah, waiting lists. I know all about those.
DAVE
I bet.
NOAH
Who was it, that came?
DAVE
Sophie Bennett.
NOAH
She’s the one I saw at the beach. The one that spoke to Robin.
DAVE
Yes. She didn’t offer me fifty grand for my corpse, though.
NOAH
She wouldn’t. Not after—
DAVE
After I barged into their laboratory brandishing my badge and demanding they explain in detail what they did with their beating heart cadavers? No. I don’t imagine she would.
NOAH
Your colleagues. Did you tell them about what happened?
DAVE
No. But U-Co doesn’t know that. I got the strong impression from Dr Bennett that they’d like me to keep my nose out of their business. Considering it’s going to take a while for me to learn how to get about without being able to see, I think they’ll get there wish.
NOAH
What about me?
DAVE
I don’t know, Noah. What do you want out of this?
NOAH
I don’t know.
I really don’t know. [hissing/distortion]
PT3 NOAH/DAVE
NOAH
Dave, you saw it too?
DAVE
Well, I heard it. But yes. He’s on the news.
NOAH
He. I can’t believe it. I can’t. He was dead.
DAVE
You said yourself you saw him in the car, at the beach.
NOAH
What if he was never dead, Dave? What if they faked it? What if—
DAVE
I know where you’re going with this, Noah, and I urge you not to. Please. He wasn’t running from you. I’ve seen the death certificate myself. He was dead.
NOAH
I know. I know. But he’s there!
DAVE
There’s not been so much as a squeak about magically restoring brain dead people to life. My best guess is…
NOAH
He’s still brain dead. But. A puppet. Strung up.
DAVE
Yes. Something along those lines.
NOAH
That can’t be legal.
DAVE
There’s no law against it.
NOAH
Because it shouldn’t be possible.
DAVE
And yet, there he is.
NOAH
There he is.
[pause] But what if we’re wrong. What if he’s in there.
DAVE
He’s not, Noah. He can’t be.
NOAH
You don’t know that.
DAVE
Have you forgotten what you said to me two years ago? U-Co are too big, too well protected. There is nothing you can do.
NOAH
I have to try.
DAVE
How?
NOAH
I don’t know. You’re back on the force, aren’t you? There has to be a way.
DAVE
A way to level second degree murder charges for a man who’s walking and talking?
NOAH
It’s their fault he died. Whatever they’ve done to him now…
DAVE
Whatever it is. There is no room for movement. Our best bet is we bide our time, see what they say. If they start making claims of miracle treatments for brain death…
NOAH
If he’s not dead, why hasn’t he asked to see me?
DAVE
I don’t know. I’m sorry.
NOAH
You’re sorry. Everyone is always so fucking sorry. What good is that to me? To Robin? What if they’ve… What if…
DAVE
[sigh] Exactly. We have no idea what has happened in the interim.
NOAH
Did you see his arms. His legs.
DAVE
No. But they’ve told me.
NOAH
His beautiful hands, Dave. Gone.
DAVE
I know. I’m sorry.
NOAH
I need to know he’s okay. Dave, what if I’m right, and they have somehow rigged up the synthnapses to, I don’t know, make dead brains work again? On the news, they said that’s how they get the limbs to function with the body, using the synthnapses. What if I’m right?
DAVE
Noah. Promise me you won’t do anything rash.
NOAH
I can’t.
DAVE
You have to.
NOAH
Okay. I won’t do anything rash, I promise.
DAVE
Good lad. I… I’ll look into what I can. I’ll see what I can find out. U-Co have a good relationship with the police. It might be easier than you’d think.
NOAH
Thank you.
DAVE
Don’t thank me. It’s the bare minimum, but it’s all we can do.
NOAH
Okay.
DAVE
And Noah?
NOAH
Yes?
DAVE
Be careful. [hissing/distortion]
PT4 NOAH/DAVE
DAVE
Last time we spoke you promised me you wouldn’t do anything rash.
NOAH
It wasn’t rash. All I did was stand outside the building.
DAVE
You were yelling Robin’s name.
NOAH
They let me go without calling the police.
DAVE
They let you go without the police getting involved. That is not the same thing.
NOAH
She called you, the bastard!
DAVE
It’s a good thing, too. Imagine if she had just dialled 999. What then?
NOAH
I don’t know. Maybe somebody would have done something.
DAVE
You’d have been charged for criminal damaged.
NOAH
They were filming me without my consent.
DAVE
The footage on the security tapes writes over itself every forty-eight hours. You wouldn’t have a leg to stand on.
NOAH
They held me for two days!
DAVE
I know.
NOAH
Am I supposed to just accept that?
DAVE
Did you get what you wanted?
NOAH
What?
DAVE
Robin Jaeger. Did they let you see him?
NOAH
I– No.
DAVE
[sighs] Okay. I’m going to speak to Sophie Bennett again. See if she can do something. I… I can’t promise anything.
NOAH
You never can, Dave.
DAVE
I never can. [hissing, distortion]
PT5 NOAH/DAVE
NOAH
Dave?
DAVE
Hi, Noah.
NOAH
You spoke to her?
DAVE
Yes. I did.
NOAH
She won’t let me see him.
DAVE
She will.
NOAH
She– she will?!
DAVE
You’ll need to sign an NDA. We both will.
NOAH
When can I see him?
DAVE
[cautious] Noah. You need to take a beat. Breathe a minute. What’s going to happen if you’re right?
NOAH
Right about what?
DAVE
What if he’s just… a puppet?
NOAH
[brightly] Then I’ll know.
DAVE
You really need to treat that as a possibility.
NOAH
I need to see him, Dave. Hollow or not.
DAVE
Okay. She says Tuesday.
NOAH
Tuesday. Three days from now?
DAVE
Yes. In London.
NOAH
London?
DAVE
Yes. London. Can you get there?
NOAH
Yes. I can.
DAVE
Okay. Remember, Noah, I can’t make any promises.
NOAH
I know that.
DAVE
Okay.
NOAH
I’m going to see him.
DAVE
Yes. You are.
NOAH
Thank you. [hissing/distortion]
PT6 NOAH/DAVE
NOAH
Hi.
DAVE
Hi, Noah.
NOAH
Can’t you just let me be, please?
DAVE
I just wanted to see if you were okay.
NOAH
Of course I’m not okay. How could I be okay?
He was… hollow. He was… nothing.
He was dead.
DAVE
Noah…
NOAH
He’s dead, Dave.
DAVE
Okay.
NOAH
I need to just let him be dead.
DAVE
Noah, the implications of—
NOAH
I don’t care anymore, okay? They killed him, they did it, but it’s done, he’s dead, there’s nothing, there’s no getting him back. Please. Just leave me alone.
DAVE
Noah…
NOAH
You can promise me that, at least, right? You’ll leave me alone.
DAVE
Yeah. I can promise that.
NOAH
Goodbye. Don’t call me again. [hissing/crackling]
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