Clockwork Bird Episode Nineteen: Kookaburra

PLEASE NOTE: There may be some inaccuracies in this transcript. Due to some errors, the transcribed versions of eps 15-30 were lost. Posted below are lightly adapted scripts not 100% accurate to the final versions of each episode. At some point, this will be corrected, but due to time constraints and the bulk of the work at Hanging Sloth Studios falling to Sloth in Chief Pippin, there is a limit to the amount of work he can reasonably do on a short time frame. However, we believe that it’s important to post transcripts to make our episodes as accessible to as many people as possible. Please bear with us as we try our best to correct this issues, and if you want to make adjustments to these transcripts, please mail them to hangingslothstudios@gmail.com with any changes you have made highlighted. Thank you for your patience!

PT1 NOAH/DAVE

NOAH

Hello? Inspector Hughes?

DAVE

Mr Davies?

NOAH

Yes. I’m calling about U-Co and Robin Jaeger.

DAVE

As I explained to you the other day, Mr Davies, we’ve had to close your missing persons’ report as Mr Jaeger was pronounced dead some time ago.

NOAH

No. I know. But I just. You need to understand some things, okay?

Before Robin died, he was talking to this company, U-Co. They make those synthnapses, you know? Robin was in the army. Apparently U-Co gets a lot of veterans as customers. They’re working on something new, Robin said. Not just artificial synapses, but whole synthetic limbs to replace ones people have lost.

DAVE

Had Mr Jaeger lost a limb?

NOAH

No. That’s the thing. These limbs they’re making, they’re just in development stages now. They need people to donate their bodies to science. Robin said they need a specific kind of body for their tests or whatever to work. Because of that, people who get, I don’t know, shot in the head, where their brain is dead but the rest of their organs are pretty decent, they’re the ones they need. You see why the army is a good place for them to go looking.

DAVE

I suppose.

NOAH

Robin was discharged from the army the year before he died. He… Well. He tried to take his own life. You’ve seen the death certificate, you know he ended up successful in the end. But the first time they just sent him packing. I never really understood it, but, I don’t know, I expected some kind of compensation for when he left. But he got none. In fact, he was discharged dishonourably. Do you know what that means?

DAVE

I know it’s a bad thing.

NOAH

I have no idea what happened. He was in the SAS, you know, secret service stuff, all really confidential. I don’t know what happened but I know it was enough for him to. Well. Break, a bit. And it wasn’t long after that, U-Co was speaking to him again.

DAVE

After he’d attempted suicide?

NOAH

You see what I mean? He wasn’t in his right mind and they came to him anyway. Because he was dishonourably discharged, he wasn’t getting any more money from the army, and he was such a mess, he couldn’t work. It was… it was hard for him. For both of us. But the thing is, they offered him money.

DAVE

To donate his body?

NOAH

Yes. It’s legal, apparently. But. He was completely broke. They were offering fifty grand.

DAVE

You think he wouldn’t have killed himself if they hadn’t offered money for his corpse?

NOAH

I told you U-Co needed a certain kind of dead body, didn’t I? Well. The brain uses 25% of the body’s oxygen, Detective. It’s the first thing to go when the body is oxygen starved. A beating heart cadaver, the kind U-Co needed for their tests for these limb things, all the organs need to be able to work, but the brain needs to be completely dead. You know a sure fire way to do that? You stop yourself from breathing. That’s what Robin did, detective.

DAVE

This is a very serious allegation, Mr Davies.

NOAH

I know. That’s why I filed a missing person’s report. I hoped you’d put the pieces together yourself, but that was clearly too optimistic.

DAVE

Mr Davies, I’ll remind you that—

NOAH

Wasting police time is an offence, I know. But I’m not wasting your time. I wasn’t then and I’m not now. What they did to Robin was wrong. I don’t know for sure but… I don’t know. Maybe he’d still be alive if they never came and said what they said to him.

DAVE

Do you have any evidence?

NOAH

Only what I’ve told you. Again. That’s why the missing persons’ report. I’ve looked into U-Co enough to know that anyone going toe to toe with them in court is at a disadvantage. If you’re going to make this accusation, you need to have your story straight before you even so much as glance at them in public.

DAVE

And what is that accusation, Mr Davies?

NOAH

They killed Robin Jaeger.

DAVE

Hmm.

NOAH

Medical Malpractice. That’s the angle.

DAVE

Okay. Mr Davies, I can’t make any promises, except that I will do what I can.

NOAH

That’s all I’d ask of you, Detective.

DAVE

Good.

NOAH

Thank you.

DAVE

You said you saw him, at the beach.

NOAH

I— yes. The Synthnapses. I have a theory, for what happened.

DAVE

Oh?

NOAH

I… I can’t. Is there a way for us to meet, in person? I know it sounds stupid, but I don’t want to talk about this on the phone.

DAVE

I’m sure U-Co aren’t tapping police phone lines, Mr Davies.

NOAH

You’re sure, are you? How? They’re so. They’re well protected. They’re dangerous, Detective. Please.

DAVE

Okay, fine. We’ll meet in person.

NOAH

Thank you. [hissing, distortion]

PT2 NOAH/DAVE

DAVE

Noah. Hello.

NOAH

Hi, Detective. I’m sorry to hear about your accident.

DAVE

I got the flowers you sent. I can’t see them, but I’m assured that they’re there, so thank you. And it’s just Dave, at this point, I think. I’m sorry I can’t be of any more use to you.

NOAH

No. Don’t be stupid. You did everything you could.

DAVE

No. I should have been more careful. Going to the Huddau Bay facility myself was a mistake. Maybe if I’d actually listened to you, none of this would have happened.

NOAH

You think they have something to do with your accident?

DAVE

No. Not directly. Not exactly. But they came to me, afterwards. Offered to move me up the list.

NOAH

The list?

DAVE

Apparently, synthnapse treatment to fix my eyesight is a good five or six years wait on the NHS.

NOAH

Ah, waiting lists. I know all about those.

DAVE

I bet.

NOAH

Who was it, that came?

DAVE

Sophie Bennett.

NOAH

She’s the one I saw at the beach. The one that spoke to Robin.

DAVE

Yes. She didn’t offer me fifty grand for my corpse, though.

NOAH

She wouldn’t. Not after—

DAVE

After I barged into their laboratory brandishing my badge and demanding they explain in detail what they did with their beating heart cadavers? No. I don’t imagine she would.

NOAH

Your colleagues. Did you tell them about what happened?

DAVE

No. But U-Co doesn’t know that. I got the strong impression from Dr Bennett that they’d like me to keep my nose out of their business. Considering it’s going to take a while for me to learn how to get about without being able to see, I think they’ll get there wish.

NOAH

What about me?

DAVE

I don’t know, Noah. What do you want out of this?

NOAH

I don’t know.

I really don’t know. [hissing/distortion]

PT3 NOAH/DAVE

NOAH

Dave, you saw it too?

DAVE

Well, I heard it. But yes. He’s on the news.

NOAH

He. I can’t believe it. I can’t. He was dead.

DAVE

You said yourself you saw him in the car, at the beach.

NOAH

What if he was never dead, Dave? What if they faked it? What if—

DAVE

I know where you’re going with this, Noah, and I urge you not to. Please. He wasn’t running from you. I’ve seen the death certificate myself. He was dead.

NOAH

I know. I know. But he’s there!

DAVE

There’s not been so much as a squeak about magically restoring brain dead people to life. My best guess is…

NOAH

He’s still brain dead. But. A puppet. Strung up.

DAVE

Yes. Something along those lines.

NOAH

That can’t be legal.

DAVE

There’s no law against it.

NOAH

Because it shouldn’t be possible.

DAVE

And yet, there he is.

NOAH

There he is.

[pause] But what if we’re wrong. What if he’s in there.

DAVE

He’s not, Noah. He can’t be.

NOAH

You don’t know that.

DAVE

Have you forgotten what you said to me two years ago? U-Co are too big, too well protected. There is nothing you can do.

NOAH

I have to try.

DAVE

How?

NOAH

I don’t know. You’re back on the force, aren’t you? There has to be a way.

DAVE

A way to level second degree murder charges for a man who’s walking and talking?

NOAH

It’s their fault he died. Whatever they’ve done to him now…

DAVE

Whatever it is. There is no room for movement. Our best bet is we bide our time, see what they say. If they start making claims of miracle treatments for brain death…

NOAH

If he’s not dead, why hasn’t he asked to see me?

DAVE

I don’t know. I’m sorry.

NOAH

You’re sorry. Everyone is always so fucking sorry. What good is that to me? To Robin? What if they’ve… What if…

DAVE

[sigh] Exactly. We have no idea what has happened in the interim.

NOAH

Did you see his arms. His legs.

DAVE

No. But they’ve told me.

NOAH

His beautiful hands, Dave. Gone.

DAVE

I know. I’m sorry.

NOAH

I need to know he’s okay. Dave, what if I’m right, and they have somehow rigged up the synthnapses to, I don’t know, make dead brains work again? On the news, they said that’s how they get the limbs to function with the body, using the synthnapses. What if I’m right?

DAVE

Noah. Promise me you won’t do anything rash.

NOAH

I can’t.

DAVE

You have to.

NOAH

Okay. I won’t do anything rash, I promise.

DAVE

Good lad. I… I’ll look into what I can. I’ll see what I can find out. U-Co have a good relationship with the police. It might be easier than you’d think.

NOAH

Thank you.

DAVE

Don’t thank me. It’s the bare minimum, but it’s all we can do.

NOAH

Okay.

DAVE

And Noah?

NOAH

Yes?

DAVE

Be careful. [hissing/distortion]

PT4 NOAH/DAVE

DAVE

Last time we spoke you promised me you wouldn’t do anything rash.

NOAH

It wasn’t rash. All I did was stand outside the building.

DAVE

You were yelling Robin’s name.

NOAH

They let me go without calling the police.

DAVE

They let you go without the police getting involved. That is not the same thing.

NOAH

She called you, the bastard!

DAVE

It’s a good thing, too. Imagine if she had just dialled 999. What then?

NOAH

I don’t know. Maybe somebody would have done something.

DAVE

You’d have been charged for criminal damaged.

NOAH

They were filming me without my consent.

DAVE

The footage on the security tapes writes over itself every forty-eight hours. You wouldn’t have a leg to stand on.

NOAH

They held me for two days!

DAVE

I know.

NOAH

Am I supposed to just accept that?

DAVE

Did you get what you wanted?

NOAH

What?

DAVE

Robin Jaeger. Did they let you see him?

NOAH

I– No.

DAVE

[sighs] Okay. I’m going to speak to Sophie Bennett again. See if she can do something. I… I can’t promise anything.

NOAH

You never can, Dave.

DAVE

I never can. [hissing, distortion]

PT5 NOAH/DAVE

NOAH

Dave?

DAVE

Hi, Noah.

NOAH

You spoke to her?

DAVE

Yes. I did.

NOAH

She won’t let me see him.

DAVE

She will.

NOAH

She– she will?!

DAVE

You’ll need to sign an NDA. We both will.

NOAH

When can I see him?

DAVE

[cautious] Noah. You need to take a beat. Breathe a minute. What’s going to happen if you’re right?

NOAH

Right about what?

DAVE

What if he’s just… a puppet?

NOAH

[brightly] Then I’ll know.

DAVE

You really need to treat that as a possibility.

NOAH

I need to see him, Dave. Hollow or not.

DAVE

Okay. She says Tuesday.

NOAH

Tuesday. Three days from now?

DAVE

Yes. In London.

NOAH

London?

DAVE

Yes. London. Can you get there?

NOAH

Yes. I can.

DAVE

Okay. Remember, Noah, I can’t make any promises.

NOAH

I know that.

DAVE

Okay.

NOAH

I’m going to see him.

DAVE

Yes. You are.

NOAH

Thank you. [hissing/distortion]

PT6 NOAH/DAVE

NOAH

Hi.

DAVE

Hi, Noah.

NOAH

Can’t you just let me be, please?

DAVE

I just wanted to see if you were okay.

NOAH

Of course I’m not okay. How could I be okay?

He was… hollow. He was… nothing.

He was dead.

DAVE

Noah…

NOAH

He’s dead, Dave.

DAVE

Okay.

NOAH

I need to just let him be dead.

DAVE

Noah, the implications of—

NOAH

I don’t care anymore, okay? They killed him, they did it, but it’s done, he’s dead, there’s nothing, there’s no getting him back. Please. Just leave me alone.

DAVE

Noah…

NOAH

You can promise me that, at least, right? You’ll leave me alone.

DAVE

Yeah. I can promise that.

NOAH

Goodbye. Don’t call me again. [hissing/crackling]