PLEASE NOTE: There may be some inaccuracies in this transcript. Due to some errors, the transcribed versions of eps 15-30 were lost. Posted below are lightly adapted scripts not 100% accurate to the final versions of each episode. At some point, this will be corrected, but due to time constraints and the bulk of the work at Hanging Sloth Studios falling to Sloth in Chief Pippin, there is a limit to the amount of work he can reasonably do on a short time frame. However, we believe that it’s important to post transcripts to make our episodes as accessible to as many people as possible. Please bear with us as we try our best to correct this issues, and if you want to make adjustments to these transcripts, please mail them to hangingslothstudios@gmail.com with any changes you have made highlighted. Thank you for your patience!
PT1 NOAH/SHELLY/E-LIZA
[phone rings]
SHELLY
Oh my god. My phone is working.
[phone stops ringing]
SHELLY
If the phone is alive then… E-Liza?
No?
[pause]
E-Liza. Now would be a real good time for you to stop doing… Whatever it is you are doing.
[mechanical squeaking, crackling, whispers]
SHELLY
The typing again…
‘A’ ‘L’ oh great, yeah, you’re going to say Alouette, yeah? Fantastic. What does that MEAN!
[phone rings]
SHELLY
It’s the number as before. Should I answer? I shouldn’t. That would be. I don’t know.
What would it be should I just?
I’m going to do it.
I’m answering I’m — Hello?
NOAH
[whispering] Who is this?
SHELLY
Who — what do you mean ‘who is this’? You called me!
NOAH
[deadpan] Yes. Who are you?
SHELLY
Wait a– now just— You’ve been calling me over and over!
NOAH
[still deadpan] I haven’t. I haven’t used this phone in years. I’m not even paying for it.
SHELLY
[any trace of irritation is gone] What?
NOAH
What do you have to do with U-Co?
SHELLY
[confused] U-Co? Nothing.
NOAH
[bored] Are you sure?
SHELLY
Of course I’m sure.
[as though this should be obvious] I don’t work for them or anything.
NOAH
[uninterested] That doesn’t mean you’ve got nothing to do with them.
SHELLY
Well maybe not nothing… But I don’t work for them, I swear.
NOAH
[tired] How can you be sure?
SHELLY
What do you even mean? Of course I can be sure I don’t work for someone.
NOAH
[tired] You’re naive.
SHELLY
Well. [struggling for a comeback] You’re rude.
NOAH
[exasperated] I’m guessing you have no idea why I have tried to make a hundred calls to you in the past month?
SHELLY
Is it that many?
NOAH
[extremely not interested in having this conversation] Well, roughly. But I’m rounding down. Any ideas?
SHELLY
But you’ve been calling me.
NOAH
[exhausted] I told you. The phone shouldn’t even be connected.
SHELLY
It was coming up as just… blank at first. And then unknown caller. Tonight was the first night it had a number at all.
NOAH
[for the first time, there is life in Noah’s voice, but only a little] Interesting.
SHELLY
Why?
NOAH
[he’s frowning now. You can’t see it but he is. He doesn’t want to be intrigued by this but he can’t help himself, it’s too important] It’s the first time it turned on, tonight.
SHELLY
[seizing on the note of interest in Noah’s voice, enthusiastic, but trying to feign disinterest] So. Your disconnected and switched off phone has been trying to ring me?
NOAH
You answered.
SHELLY
Regretting that, if I’m honest.
NOAH
[frustrated] No. Not just tonight. At least a dozen times when it called you, you picked up.
SHELLY
It left… messages.
NOAH
Messages?
SHELLY
Yeah. Fizzing, crackling… distortion…
[pause where Noah should speak. He doesn’t.]
Hello?
NOAH
Break your phone. Get rid of it.
SHELLY
Are you serious?
NOAH
Yes. If you really have nothing to do with U-Co you need to get rid of your phone. Now.
SHELLY
I hear you. Just. Listen. I can’t walk away from this. People I care about are caught up in this mess. It’s too important.
NOAH
If U-Co has them, it’s already over. I don’t know what else to tell you. Goodbye.
SHELLY
WAIT! Wait. E-Liza.
NOAH
What?
SHELLY
The AI system thing, E-Liza, you. Your phone, does it have one?
NOAH
No. It’s old. Why?
SHELLY
When you called it… I don’t know, my E-Liza. Something is going on with her. She’s gone wrong. She’s typing stuff out and not speaking to me and I don’t know hat it means, but it has something to do with the phone calls, somehow, I just don’t know what.
NOAH
I’m sorry, I can’t help you. Get rid of your phone and your E-Liza. Do it as soon as you can.
[disconnect tone]
SHELLY
No, wait! Hello? HELLO?
God I wish people would stop telling me to scrap my technology.
That voice. It was… I don’t know. Familiar. But I know it from somewhere.
E-LIZA
Alouette.
SHELLY
E-Liza?
E-LIZA
Alouette.
SHELLY
E-Liza, stop!
E-LIZA
Okay, Shelly. Can I help you?
SHELLY
Oh thank god. You’re alright again. Jesus christ E-Liza, you scared me.
E-LIZA
I’ve just finished updating.
SHELLY
So that’s what you’re calling it.
PT2 SHELLY/DAVE/E-LIZA
[phone rings]
DAVE
Is your computer working?
SHELLY
It’s stopped singing, if that’s what you mean.
You didn’t call me back last night, I got a ca—
DAVE
Not the time, Shelly. Is it working normally?
SHELLY
After it played through all of the recordings in the folder, it… the screen went black, and then it started typing by itself. It said—
DAVE
Alouette. I know.
SHELLY
Did yours doing it too?
DAVE
All of the computers at the station are typing the same thing over and over again. Alouette. But your laptop is working fine?
SHELLY
Hang on, let me just…
E-LIZA
Hi, Shelly. Can I help you?
SHELLY
She’s fine, yeah
DAVE
[frustrated sound] They all ping back to a centralised system that checks the health of the batteries, that kind of thing, and apparently there was a notification that the laptop you’d been assigned was offline due to damage. The chief is not pleased.
SHELLY
It’s not damaged. Not anymore, anyway.
DAVE
The notification was the last thing the IT guys saw before the whole system went down. I thought maybe you’d taken my advice and chucked your laptop in the sea.
SHELLY
Dave… the computers at the station. Are they… whispering?
DAVE
Whispering? No. Like I said, they’re just typing this alouette thing again and again, nothing else. Is yours whispering? I thought you said it was fine.
SHELLY
It is fine. It’s not whispering anymore.
DAVE
What do you mean, whispering?
SHELLY
I mean talking really quietly?
DAVE
E-Liza was talking quietly?
SHELLY
No. It wasn’t E-Liza. It was something else. The screen went black it started typing that alouette thing out, and then it whispered something, in french I think, and then it shut down. It wouldn’t power on for ages but when it finally did, it was fine. Like nothing happened. So I went to bed. After waiting for you to answer my message.
DAVE
Did you send it via E-Liza?
SHELLY
Yes.
DAVE
Then I didn’t get it, because all of the laptops are dead.
SHELLY
Oh, right.
DAVE
You’re sure the laptop is working fine now?
SHELLY
Yes. I’m certain.
DAVE
Okay. I need you to check and make sure nothing is missing, and call me back. On this number, not my work number. That uses E-Liza and it’s not working either.
SHELLY
Okay, can you—
[disconnection tone]
SHELLY
Well. Okay, rude.
[pause]
E-LIZA
Hi shelly, can I help you?
SHELLY
I don’t know if that’s a good idea. But then. If all the other E-Liza’s that are linked to the police are shut down, and they think you’re offline… maybe whatever happened last night means you’re not connected to them anymore.
Someone did that, though. There’s no way of knowing if they’re good or bad. If they’re listening.
[pause]
E-Liza, who made you?
E-LIZA
I was made by Snowflake Computing.
SHELLY
Snowflake Computing. And who owns that?
E-LIZA
Snowflake Computing is a subsidiary of U-Co Technology Solutions Limited.
SHELLY
So you’re made by U-Co, then.
E-LIZA
I was made by Snowflake Computing.
SHELLY
See, I thought it was weird, when Sophie said in that recording that U-Co somehow made money from the E-Lizas. I was pretty sure they weren’t made by U-Co. But. I don’t know. Maybe that’s what that guy on the phone meant, whoever he was. That you don’t know where U-Co has stuck their fingers of influence. How many pies are they cutting a slice of?
E-Liza, who started U-Co?
E-LIZA
U-Co was founded in 2019 by Christopher Darwin.
SHELLY
Darwin. It all seems to come back to Christopher Darwin.
But that doesn’t make any sense. I thought there was a load of tension between Darwin and U-Co about the patent for the synthnapses.
E-LIZA
Here’s what I found.
SHELLY
Okay, so he founded the company in 2019, kind of. He’d been working out of a lab at MIT on things that led up to the invention of the synthnapses… He had a bunch of private investors. He was totally broke. And then, from the looks of it, by the time he was getting Sam Maxwells involved for the trials of the actual synthnapses in the 2020s, he was no longer the majority shareholder.
Hang on. Wait. Alice had a cork board of all of this, I’m sure. I remember this timeline, anyway. I’ve seen it. And that picture of him, she had it stuck on the same board.
God. If I could see them maybe this would all make more sense.
I– I’m going to make a call.
[laptop shuts]
[laptop opens]
E-LIZA
Hi Shelly, can I help you?
SHELLY
Yeah. Show me directions to Flat 1A, 7 Rhodfa Derwen, Huddau Bay.
E-LIZA
Here’s directions from your current location, Shelly. Would you like me to dictate them to you?
SHELLY
It’s not too far from Alice’s mum’s. I think I can work out the way.
I just spoke to her on the phone. Dave told me they were going to search Alice’s studio flat but her mum said when she went over there, it didn’t look like anyone had been in, and nobody asked her for the key. I said I would go and water the plants. She can’t bear to go in there. Too much Alice.
Okay, E-Liza. We’re going on a field trip.
PT3 SHELLY/DAVE/E-LIZA
SHELLY
E-Liza. Can you show me the directions again.
E-LIZA
Here you go, Shelly.
SHELLY
Thanks. We’re close, now.
Wait. Oh my god, that’s it. The sign. ‘U-Co Huddau Bay’. It’s here.
There’s no police line or anything. Maybe I could just.
[indicator clicks]
God, I see it. Wow. It looks so much worse, in person. There really is nothing left. Jesus. Just a blackened shell.
God, Alice, I hope you weren’t in there.
[indicator clicks again]
Alright, we’re just a few minutes away.
[phone rings]
SHELLY
It’s Dave. E-Liza, can you answer that?
E-LIZA
You got it, Shelly.
SHELLY
‘You got it.’ How chipper.
DAVE
I’m sorry?
SHELLY
Oh, no I wasn’t— never mind. Hi Dave.
DAVE
Where are you?
SHELLY
I’m in the car. You’re on speaker.
DAVE
Where are you going?
SHELLY
Does it matter? What do you want?
DAVE
There’s a central system that gets reports on all the laptops the station owns, and it says yours is broken.
SHELLY
She seems pretty okay to me.
DAVE
She?
SHELLY
Is that everything you wanted?
DAVE
Whatever happened last night, it looks like you’ve been kicked out of the system.
Are you going to tell me where you’re going?
SHELLY
No.
DAVE
Why not?
SHELLY
You’ll disapprove. And you don’t need to know.
DAVE
[stern] Shelly—
SHELLY
E-Liza, end call.
E-LIZA
Call terminated.
SHELLY
How close are we to Alice’s place?
E-LIZA
Make the next left turn and in two hundred metres you will be at your destination.
SHELLY
Oh, god. Okay. Breathe. This is fine. It’s fine.
E-LIZA
You have reached your destination.
[engine cuts out]
SHELLY
It’s not much, really, is it?
Okay. Let’s go.
[Laptop shuts]
PT4 SHELLY/E-LIZA
E-LIZA
Hi, Shelly.
SHELLY
Hi. My very first break in. Well. Not a break in. Her mum called the lady downstairs to let her know I was coming and she just… let me in. It’s weird, you know. I asked her if there had been anyone around to look at the flat, but… no. No police, nobody, just Alice’s mum. She didn’t even know Alice was missing. It’s weird.
[papers rustle]
She’s got a bit of post. Interesting. Snail Mail.
Hmm.
Wow it really is just one room. Pretty spotless, though, apart from. Well. The cork boards. God, these walls must be like Swiss cheese, the amount of drawing pins. Print outs of Robin, hand written notes, news articles. Wow. She really did a lot of work, here.
God imagine if the police HAD come, Jesus.
What is – a hamster cage! Oh god, Orpheus!
[cage door rattles]
SHELLY
No sign of him. But that’s a good thing right? Oh, crap the tubes have come apart.
Orpheus [makes pspspsps noises]
He’s a hamster, they’re too stupid to know their names, aren’t they?
I can’t just abandon Bertie’s step brother, can I?
God, Alice, make arrangements for your pets in case you get abducted!
Hey, E-Liza?
E-LIZA
Hi, Shelly.
SHELLY
Send an email to Bella saying that if she doesn’t hear from me for more than two days, she should go to the flat and check on Bertie. I’ll tell Sam downstairs to let her in.
E-LIZA
Consider it done.
SHELLY
Your social skills are really coming along, E-Liza. All that weird muttering and senseless typing really did you some good.
Ahaha! Evidence! This bit of wall paper has been nibbled and there are some tiny droppings. He’s around. Or at least, he was around.
How long do hamsters even live?
E-LIZA
The expected lifespan of a Syrian hamster in captivity is approximately two years.
SHELLY
So he shouldn’t have kicked it yet, then. Right.
Ugh. What is that its–
It’s a photograph of some kind of surgery. Fuck, is that their brain? Oh my god I think I’m going to be sick. Ugh, Alice what are you doing with this stuff?
And that, yup, that’s the inside of an arm, nice, lovely. Disgusting. Pinned next to… An article about Christopher Darwin? Wait. His arm. In that statement by Sam Maxwells, didn’t he say something about him having a synthnapse in his arm?
E-LIZA
According to your notes, Shelly, Christopher Darwin had an early generation Synthnapse in his arm.
SHELLY
Yeah, he was a bit of a nutter, right? Experimented on himself. And Dr Sophie, she said as much too. He was really eager to push on with the programming side of things, wasn’t he? And you, E-Liza, you’re a U-Co project too, in ways and means…
Hey, look, no need to connect the dots. Alice has done it for us. See? It’s the timeline I was talking about: Christopher Darwin, he links up to U-Co, the synthnapses, the Limbs Project, and E-Liza AI technology. She’s got a whole little biography.
Born in Houston, Texas. Moved to London when he was two. Dad worked in Data Security, no idea about mum. Car crash at sixteen, dad died, lost use of hand. Obsessed with singularity. Developed early models of synthnapse whilst still at uni, not recognisable as what U-Co sells for another fifteen years, though. Possible links to ARGs – Cicada, HoneyBee, The Man in White.
ARGs, what does that mean?
E-LIZA
ARG is an acronym for ‘Alternate Reality Game’, Shelly.
SHELLY
Alternate reality game?
E-LIZA
Here’s what I found.
SHELLY
‘Networked narratives… transmedia storytelling…Viral marketing campaigns… often set up like a treasure hunt for coding enthusiasts… huh. Clues planted deliberately as though occurring organically or accidentally.
‘Puppet-master: the puppet master controls the game, leaving and planting clues across the networked narrative for players to find and interpret. They are both allies and adversaries to their players, both keeping them engaged with the story and designing the clues to be as cryptic as possible without alienating the players entirely.
‘Puppet-masters stay behind ‘the curtain’, a refenence to the phrase ‘pay no attention to the man behind the curtain’, never interacting directly with players and instead communicating only through the games’ design and the clues they leave for the players.
‘What sets ARGs apart from other types of games is the ‘This is Not a Game’ mentality employed by the players themselves, where they treat the clues left by the puppet master as entirely genuine and as part of a real-life conspiracy.’
Shit.
So Alice thinks Darwin was involved in making these ARG things, that he was some kind of puppet-master. And it seems pretty clear that ARGs can be used to, well, sell stuff, as a marketing strategy by big companies. If Darwin is as weird and obsessive as he seems, maybe that’s exactly the kind of thing he’d do to sell something he was pedalling.
But he left U-Co, didn’t he? Because of what happened to Robin?
[leaves of paper rustle]
SHELLY
Oh, fuck. It’s a tiny note from Alice, scribbled on the back of a photocopied news article about Robin, one of the first ones they ever ran.
What if Robin was never dead? What if the story is entirely constructed to pull me in this way? What if none of this is real and I have been led deliberately to draw these conclusions? Am I a marionette?
[SHELLY laughs without humour]
SHELLY
But the recordings of Alice and Sophie. They were real. And I’ve seen Robin Jaeger’s death certificate. And someone is really calling me. And my computer, something happened to my computer. It’s real. It really isn’t a game.
But maybe that doesn’t mean Darwin isn’t the puppet-master.
That’s what Dave was suggesting too, wasn’t it? That he was someone orchestrating this whole thing. That he was the one leaving the messages, hacking into our systems, maybe he’s even the reason you’re not connected to the police station anymore, E-Liza.
E-LIZA
I’m afraid I don’t understand the question, Shelly.
SHELLY
No. Neither do I. Not yet.
God, I’ve been so bogged down in trying to fit the pieces together that I forgot why I was here in the first place. I said I wanted to help Dave find Alice, and he put me on this wild goose chase, and then I realised that maybe Alice was really onto something and I had to do something. I said that. I was right. But I’m not on my own. I can’t trust Dave entirely, I’d be an idiot if I did, after everything that’s happened, but I am pretty sure he’s trying to work out what’s going on here, too.
After all, if he’d wanted to keep the peace with U-Co, all he’d have had to do was nothing at all, let me talk to literally anyone else from the station and be done with it. Let them know Alice is a journalist trying to bring them down. Let them know she was suspicious of Robin — [paper rustles]
SHELLY
Did you hear that?
E-LIZA
I’m afraid not, Shelly.
SHELLY
By the fridge!
Orpheus! Got you! Hello, little man! Have you been on an adventure?
Oh, you silly little thing, aren’t you gorgeous. I’m putting you right back in your cage. [cage door clangs]
SHELLY
Right. That’s it then. I’ll gather some of this stuff up, and we’ll take the hamster, too.
Is that… a microphone?
And a USB.
That means, she must have a computer here somewhere.
SHELLY
Aha! A laptop.
And… it’s locked.
Great.
SHELLY
We should go, Orpheus. Come on.
Hanging Sloth Studios 