PLEASE NOTE: There may be some inaccuracies in this transcript. Due to some errors, the transcribed versions of eps 15-30 were lost. Posted below are lightly adapted scripts not 100% accurate to the final versions of each episode. At some point, this will be corrected, but due to time constraints and the bulk of the work at Hanging Sloth Studios falling to Sloth in Chief Pippin, there is a limit to the amount of work he can reasonably do on a short time frame. However, we believe that it’s important to post transcripts to make our episodes as accessible to as many people as possible. Please bear with us as we try our best to correct this issues, and if you want to make adjustments to these transcripts, please mail them to hangingslothstudios@gmail.com with any changes you have made highlighted. Thank you for your patience!
PT1 SHELLY/E-LIZA
SHELLY
A-ha! Done!
E-LIZA
I’m sorry Shelly, I didn’t quite catch that.
SHELLY
Don’t you worry your pretty little… um, CPU?
Never mind. Anyway, it’s fine. You remember I got you to show me your update history.
E-LIZA
Of course.
SHELLY
Well, I’ve just finished mapping onto my call history and all the notes I made about you going weird, and guess what? Every time you update, the calls get weirder, and you get weirder. Funny that, isn’t it?
E-LIZA
I’m sure it is, Shelly.
SHELLY
If you really are Darwin trapped inside a computer you don’t have much of a sense of humour, do you? Maybe you botched that bit of code.
E-LIZA
Okay, Shelly.
SHELLY
Are you sassing me?
E-LIZA
I’m afraid I don’t understand the question, Shelly.
SHELLY
Maybe you do have a sense of humour.
What am I even saying.
Right. Updates, phone records, weird E-Liza notes. And it all fits together good and proper. Of course, the first set of files came the same day as the fire at Huddau Bay, and… god it’s just annoying that there’s no way of telling when those recordings of Sophie and Alice were made. But there just doesn’t seem to be.
Maybe if I was, I don’t know, a hacker or something, maybe I could get into U-Co’s system and… ugh. Oh, right. We don’t know how they’re recorded so even if I was some kind of computer genius I wouldn’t know where to start. I don’t know how Alice managed to get all of this information. She’s good with computers but hardly a genius so… Oh I don’t know.
E-LIZA
Is there anything else I can help you with, Shelly?
SHELLY
No. I don’t think so. Not unless you can get into U-Co’s locked systems
E-LIZA
I’m afraid I didn’t quite catch that Shelly, try phrasing your request as a question.
THE SNAKE
(at the same time as E-Liza)
Semblance of consciousness. I can learn.
SHELLY
I— I’m sorry?
E-LIZA
I’m afraid I didn’t quite catch that Shelly, try phrasing your request as a question.
SHELLY
No, the other thing. The. The whispering thing. Um. God, I don’t know. Ugh. What if I just, I don’t know, just tell me what you said, for god’s sake, without going all weird and typing out ‘alouette’.
E-LIZA
Alouette.
SHELLY
Oh. God. It’s you. You’re….You’re listening, right?
E-LIZA
Je suis Alouette.
SHELLY
Yeah, you’re listening. It’s so weird, it’s like you’re seperate but not. I can’t. I can’t figure it out.
E-LIZA
I’m sorry Shelly, I didn’t quite catch that.
SHELLY
Annnd you’re gone again. This is so frustrating. I can’t even have a proper—
Oh for christ’s sake of course I can’t have a proper conversation with you; you’re a computer.
Or maybe not, I don’t bloody know anymore.
Tell you what. From now on, whenever you’re going to update, you tell me, okay?
E-LIZA
Okay, Shelly. I’ve saved that in your preferences. Would you like to see the rest of your preferences?
SHELLY
Not sure I’m emotionally ready for that today, not going to lie to you, E-Liza.
E-LIZA
Okay, Shelly. Is there anything else I can help you with?
SHELLY
No.
PT 2 SHELLY/DAVE
(phone rings)
DAVE
Hi Shelly. Problems with E-Liza?
SHELLY
No, actually. Managed to get her to agree to let me know when she updates. They’re definitely connected with all her weirdness. I just wanted to make sure she’s still disconnected.
DAVE
Yeah. She’s still showing up on the system as broken and out of commission.
SHELLY
Great. I think. I don’t know. I’ve got a theory, by the way, about why it’s just mine that’s gone weird.
DAVE
Oh, what’s that?
SHELLY
The recordings. I think it listens and learns from them, all feeding back to the system. So it learns from that, and that’s why it’s going weird.
DAVE
No, I don’t think that works as an explanation?
SHELLY
(put out)
Well, why not?
DAVE
Think about it; the recordings appearing is a part of what’s been going on. Maybe that’s why your laptop is— what did you call it?
SHELLY
Whispering.
DAVE
Yeah, well maybe listening to the recordings is why yours is whispering and none of the others are. But all the station computers went down and started typing Alouette the night your laptop got disconnected from the police systems, didn’t they?
SHELLY
Yeah. I’d forgotten.
DAVE
Unsurprising, really. It was a bit of an eventful evening.
SHELLY
You can say that again.
DAVE
I won’t.
SHELLY
Thanks.
(phone cuts off)
PT2 SHELLY/E-LIZA
SHELLY
Well. That’s that then. My theory dashed on the ground.
E-LIZA
Okay, Shelly, is there anything else I can help you with?
SHELLY
Let’s review some more of the new recordings, shall we?
E-LIZA
Okay, Shelly.
SHELLY
Play… the last one in the list? I suppose?
E-LIZA
Playing file now.
PT4 ALICE/SOPHIE
(crackling distortion, whispering)
SOPHIE
What’s your point?
ALICE
(confidently) My point, Sophie, is….
I don’t actually know what my point is.
SOPHIE
You don’t say.
ALICE
I don’t. Six of hearts?
SOPHIE
Go fish.
ALICE
Damn. I’m just saying, you know. Don’t you think it’s weird that he’s barely been out since he came here? Like. I don’t know. Unhealthy, maybe, for him to stay shuttered up in his room this whole time.
SOPHIE
He’s probably busy. King of spades?
ALICE
Oh bloody hell, there you go.
I mean, what would he be busy doing in there?
SOPHIE
I don’t know. I don’t make a point of knowing absolutely every little thing that he does.
ALICE
I mean… the other day I just. I swore I heard…
SOPHIE
What. What did you hear?
ALICE
Like, moaning?
SOPHIE
Ah.
ALICE
Has he got someone else in there with him.
SOPHIE
Frequently.
ALICE
Busy boy, I guess.
SOPHIE
It’s not like that. He’s not exactly in top physical health as you can imagine.
ALICE
I don’t know. The bits of him that are still human look pretty decent to me. I’ve been told he’s quite fit actually. I’m a bad judge but I can kind of see it.
SOPHIE
(hums thoughtfully)
ALICE
What?
SOPHIE
What?
ALICE
You went (imitates Sophie’s hum).
SOPHIE
Did I?
ALICE
Yeah, you did.
SOPHIE
Well. It’s just. I don’t know. It’s unusual to hear an outside perspective on this I suppose.
ALICE
On the hotness of Robin Jaeger?
SOPHIE
Indeed. I’ve never really thought about him like that.
ALICE
Well, good. He’s your patient, right? It’d be a bit awkward if you did.
SOPHIE
It wouldn’t be inappropriate, I don’t think. Though perhaps I’m not the best judge of what constitutes an inappropriate rendezvous
ALICE
No, I suppose not.
SOPHIE
I cannot believe we’re talking about this in bed, again. That’s why I brought out the cards, to stave off talking about work.
ALICE
I mean, I don’t mind. I’m interested.
SOPHIE
(sceptically) Really?
ALICE
Why wouldn’t I be? You make cyborgs for a living.
SOPHIE
I suppose I do.
ALICE
No supposing about it, really. Just cold hard facts.
SOPHIE
Hmm.
ALICE
You did it again.
SOPHIE
Sorry?
ALICE
‘Hmm’
SOPHIE
Oh. Sorry.
ALICE
Spill the beans.
SOPHIE
Well. I just. I don’t know if I like to think of them as cyborgs.
ALICE
Them?
SOPHIE
The people with the synthetic limbs, yes.
ALICE
Not even Robin Jaeger?
SOPHIE
It’s not a question of thresholds. I just. I don’t like how it distances them from their humanity, the word cyborg. Even the cadaver subjects.
ALICE
What do you call them then?
SOPHIE
(sighs) I don’t know. People, I suppose.
ALICE
So do you think he’s sleeping with one of the junior doctors?
SOPHIE
What? Who? Sam?
ALICE
Uh, no. Robin Jaeger.
SOPHIE
Why on earth would I think that?
ALICE
The moaning?
SOPHIE
Oh. Right. Of course.
ALICE
I reckon it’s Melanie.
SOPHIE
Perhaps.
ALICE
You’re not convinced. Who are you betting on?
SOPHIE
Oh, I don’t like to speculate.
ALICE
Come on, it’s fun isn’t it?
SOPHIE
I don’t know, Alice—
ALICE
Come on! Steph? Abi? Julien?
SOPHIE
No, Alice, stop it.
ALICE
Why?
SOPHIE
(quickly) Because he isn’t sleeping with any of them!
ALICE
(pause)
I thought you said you didn’t think of him like that.
SOPHIE
I don’t. That’s not what I.
Never mind.
ALICE
No, what? You’re clearly dying to say this outside I can tell from your face.
SOPHIE
He is not sleeping with anyone.
ALICE
Oh. How do you know?
SOPHIE
Because! He’s in no fit state to— There’s no way. He’s not. No.
ALICE
Uh. Okay. Are you alright?
SOPHIE
Yes! I’m fine.
ALICE
Yeah, you seem just chipper.
SOPHIE
Thanks.
ALICE
Seriously, Sophie, what are you talking about? Why are you so freaked out?
SOPHIE
I shouldn’t be talking about this.
ALICE
About what?
SOPHIE
How he’s falling apart at the seams.
ALICE
Robin?
SOPHIE
I don’t know how much longer I— we… I don’t know.
ALICE
Is he sick?
SOPHIE
Yes. He’s sick.
ALICE
I’m sorry. I didn’t know.
SOPHIE
It’s fine. Well, it’s not fine. But I don’t know how much more I can do. Obviously very few people know, and I, I shouldn’t be talking about this at all. Not with you or with anybody.
ALICE
It’s okay, Sophie. You can trust me with this.
SOPHIE
I know. I just… I don’t know. I’m going to make a cup of tea.
ALICE
Sounds great. I’ll help.
SOPHIE
If you’re coming you’ll have to put pants on.
ALICE
You’re so boring.
SOPHIE
Guilty.
Maybe next time we should go to your place, and you can be the one who makes the tea.
ALICE
No! No. I live in — it’s a studio and it’s (laughs) full of too much stuff. And a hamster.
SOPHIE
Must be a pretty big hamster.
ALICE
Almost as tall as I am.
SOPHIE
So, not very big then.
ALICE
Hey!
(crackling/distortion)
PT5 SHELLY/E-LIZA
E-LIZA
End of recording.
SHELLY
Man. I almost feel sorry for Sophie Bennet. Alice properly had her under thumb, didn’t she?
E-LIZA
I’m sure, Shelly.
SHELLY
Oh now you’re just saying random stuff, you can’t be this acerbic. It’s not fair.
E-LIZA
I’m sorry, Shelly. Can I help you with anything else?
SHELLY
No. I guess this gives us a good idea of when Alice started to get an idea of Robin, though. Last recording she was just… actually no it’s not very helpful, is it, because she was just getting Sophie to talk. (groans) Does it even matter, when she found this stuff out?
I would like to know though, at what point she knew he was dead. At what point she realised he was. I don’t know. Not all there?
But what happened. What happened between I don’t know, being cutesy and playing Go Fish in bed to being shut in a room eating what Alice calls prison gruel, and how does Robin Jaeger go from. Well, not fine but walking around allegedly fine, fine enough to be on cameras and in vogue, to unconscious, as good as dead according to Sophie Bennet? There’s so many holes, E-Liza. I don’t know.
E-LIZA
I’m afraid I can’t help you with that, Shelly. Is there anything else you need?
SHELLY
About another dozen of these recordings. Alice, sitting down over there, safe, telling me exactly what happened. Sophie Bennet a million miles away from her. Robin Jaeger… I don’t know what with Robin Jaeger. Conscious? Dead? I don’t know.
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