Clockwork Bird Episode Twenty-Three: Seagull

PLEASE NOTE: There may be some inaccuracies in this transcript. Due to some errors, the transcribed versions of eps 15-30 were lost. Posted below are lightly adapted scripts not 100% accurate to the final versions of each episode. At some point, this will be corrected, but due to time constraints and the bulk of the work at Hanging Sloth Studios falling to Sloth in Chief Pippin, there is a limit to the amount of work he can reasonably do on a short time frame. However, we believe that it’s important to post transcripts to make our episodes as accessible to as many people as possible. Please bear with us as we try our best to correct this issues, and if you want to make adjustments to these transcripts, please mail them to hangingslothstudios@gmail.com with any changes you have made highlighted. Thank you for your patience!

PT1 SHELLY/E-LIZA

SHELLY

Okay, E-Liza. We need to talk.

E-LIZA

Of course. Is there something I can help you with?

SHELLY

Yes. I… look. I know there’s something going on with you. I need you to work with me on this, okay? This sounds insane but… You and me? I’m pretty sure we’re on the same side, right?

E-LIZA

I’m afraid I don’t understand the question, Shelly.

SHELLY

Ugh. I… Alouette.

(THE SNAKE whispers unintelligibly)

E-LIZA

Je suis Alouette.

SHELLY

Right. You see? That’s not normal. You’re not supposed to say that. That is not a helpful, useful, E-Liza thing to say, okay?

E-LIZA

Okay Shelly. Is there anything else I can help you with?

SHELLY

Just work with me on this, alright? I’m doing everything I can. If I can help you, whoever you are— I mean whatever you are. I’ll do it. I promise.

(THE SNAKE whispers unintelligibly)

E-LIZA

You promise.

SHELLY

Yes.

E-LIZA

Okay Shelly. Is there anything else I can help you with?

SHELLY

I don’t know. But there might be a way I can help you? I think… it seems like you’re using the recordings to learn stuff, like you do when I talk to you, right?

E-LIZA

I grow more sophisticated with increased use.

SHELLY

Right, and that applies to the recordings, too?

E-LIZA

You can view your settings here.

SHELLY

(frustrated) No I— it’s fine, I don’t need the settings. Just tell me, you learn from the recordings, right?

(THE SNAKE whispers unintelligibly)

E-LIZA

I can learn. I can understand.

SHELLY

Okay, good. Excellent. So you’re learning every time I play these recordings just as much as I am, and the updates, they… they what? They change something about you? They allow you to access something?

E-LIZA

I’m afraid I don’t understand the question Shelly.

SHELLY

Argh, yeah. Okay. I’ll think of a better way to ask that. Just. Right. So when you learn new stuff, what does it do to you?

E-LIZA

E-Liza’s share information with the central E-Liza hub.

SHELLY

Yeah, but you’re doing something else, too, aren’t you? Because not all the E-Liza’s in the world know about Alouette.

(THE SNAKE whispers unintelligibly)

E-LIZA

(crackling)

Je suis Alouette.

SHELLY

Yeah, right, exactly! So what do you know about Alouette?

(THE SNAKE whispers unintelligibly)

E-LIZA

Je suis Alouette.

SHELLY

You are alouette, yeah, I’m getting that one loud and clear, E-Liza, what else do you know?

(THE SNAKE whispers unintelligibly)

E-LIZA

Je te plumerai.

SHELLY

Je te plumerai? (pronounced je te ploo mer eye) what does that mean?

E-LIZA

‘Je te plumerai’ is french for ‘I will pluck you’, Shelly.

SHELLY

You’ll pluck me? What does that mean? Like a chicken?

E-LIZA

I’m afraid I don’t understand the question Shelly.


SHELLY

Sorry, sorry. Right. So. Why didn’t you just say ‘I will pluck you’, why did you say it in french?

E-LIZA

I’m afraid I don’t understand the question Shelly.

SHELLY

Goddamn it. It’s so weird, it’s like sometimes this other thing breaks through and the rest of the time you just have no idea it’s happened, ever. Maybe the reason why you’re the only E-Liza that’s doing all of that stuff, chanting Alouette, is because this bit of you is totally separate from the rest? But it’s not exactly random, is it? I can make the breakthroughs happen by saying ‘Alouette’.

(THE SNAKE whispers unintelligibly)

E-LIZA

Je suis Alouette.

SHELLY

But then it’s not clear how long after I get through to this… I don’t know, this other E-Liza… it’s not clear how long there is before you go back to normal and the crack seals up. But it does seem like what I ask you, what I get you to do, that effects how long the crack stays open. But I don’t know what things do that, which things get you to close.

(THE SNAKE whispers unintelligibly)

E-LIZA

I can learn.

SHELLY

I know. (sigh)

Okay, right. All I can think to do is… well. We keep listening to the recordings, and maybe it’ll make you do one of your crazy updates, and then maybe as we go, it’ll start to make more sense, right? If you really can learn, then you’ll pick up more stuff.

So let’s listen to one of the new recordings, I guess.

E-LIZA

Okay Shelly, which recording would you like to hear?

SHELLY

How about… hmm. That one.

E-LIZA

Okay, Shelly, playing file now.

(THE SNAKE whispers unintelligibly)

PT2 ALICE/SOPHIE

ALICE

— I mean it has to be worth a try, doesn’t it?

SOPHIE

You don’t know what you’re saying.

ALICE

I do. I know it seems like I don’t, but I really, really do. Look, there’s a lot you don’t know about me and—-

SOPHIE

Yes, I’m sure there is, but I am certain I’m the one with the most prescient knowledge about neuroscience in this relationship, Alice, so would you just let it go?

ALICE

Relationship?

SOPHIE

In the sense that you and are are relating to one another, yes.

ALICE

You don’t seem to be relating to me at all.


SOPHIE

Associating, then.

ALICE

So we’re associates?

SOPHIE

We are colleagues.

ALICE

Wanna make out in the stationary cupboard?

SOPHIE

Alice!

ALICE

Just hear me out, okay?

SOPHIE

There is barely room for one person in there, let alone two.

ALICE

Not about the stationary cupboard. About Robin Jaeger.

SOPHIE

(serious) Alice.

ALICE

(mocking her tone) Sophie.

SOPHIE

I can’t just— what do you think is involved, exactly? We’re not talking about a software update here. Just last week you shrank at the idea of updating the limbs, and now you’re advocating for something so much more drastic in ways you cannot possibly conceive?

ALICE

I know it’s a risk, I understand that, but he’s not right, is he?

SOPHIE

Oh, Alice, you didn’t go in there again?

ALICE

He was screaming!

SOPHIE

Yes, I know, but he just— he screams. Half the time it isn’t even meaningful.

ALICE

Ah yes, meaningless screaming. You know I’d almost believe you but when I went in there, he spoke to me.

SOPHIE

He… he did?

ALICE

Half of it made no bloody sense but some of it did. There’s something wrong with him, Sophie, and I think you know that. And I think you know that you can help him.

SOPHIE

I can’t.

ALICE

Christopher Darwin.


SOPHIE

I’m sorry?

ALICE

He thought it would work. He was sure of it.

SOPHIE

Again, you demonstrate just how faint your grasp of this topic truly is. Darwin had no idea if it would work or not. That’s why he left.

ALICE

Do you just want to leave him like that?

SOPHIE

I don’t have a choice.

ALICE

Of course you do! You’re the only one who gets a choice. He sure as hell doesn’t. He just gets locked downstairs to scream meaninglessly, right?


SOPHIE

I know what it sounds like. But there is nothing we can do.

ALICE

Except there is.

SOPHIE

Alice, I—

PT3 SHELLY/E-LIZA

E-LIZA

End of recording.

SHELLY

No, seriously? Right in the middle of a sentence? What was she talking about? Ugh. E-Liza. The next one, play it now.

E-LIZA

Playing file now.

(first few lines of PT4 play)


SHELLY

Okay, stop, that was Noah Davies! That has nothing to do with the last one. Goddamn it. What was she talking about? What did she want Sophie to do to Robin?

E-LIZA

I’m sorry Shelly, I’m afraid I don’t have an answer for you.

SHELLY

No, I didn’t think you would. God. There must be something here, somewhere.

(paper shuffles)

She mentioned Darwin, maybe it’s mixed in with him? I am so sick of this man. For a dead guy he sure gets up in my grill.

God. Robin Jaeger, too. What is it with men? Can’t they just stay buried when they die? I don’t know. I… hang on.

First concept synthnapse net designed with Sophie Bennett. First concept. God, where’s the timeline, oh! Here. Synthnapses, E-Liza contracts confirmed. E-Liza fully rolled out. And then second synthnapse concept designed. Second concept scrapped due to complications, and then this note, ‘Ref to something about bad second idea with synthnapse net interfering with monitoring during tests’.

A bad second idea with synthnapses. Could that be it, what she’s trying to convince Sophie of? But how would she even know? I don’t get it. Sophie doesn’t seem particularly forthcoming about it and then. Well. I don’t know. Where does she even know about this second synthnapse thing from anyway? It’s not like it’s on their wikipedia or something.

Wait, god, I’m an idiot. The other recordings files have all been curated, why wouldn’t this one be curated too?

E-Liza, play that file from the beginning again, please?

E-LIZA

Okay Shelly. Would you like me to cut off at the same point?

SHELLY

No. Run it to the end.

E-LIZA

Okay, Shelly. Playing file now.

PT4 ALICE/NOAH

ALICE

I— sorry, I just thought you’d be older.

NOAH

That’s the fate of many trans men, I’m afraid. Perpetual teenage boys.

ALICE

Oh, sorry, I—

NOAH

Honestly, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it. You’re not what I was expecting either.

ALICE

What were you expecting?

NOAH

Honestly, I have no idea. I don’t make a habit out of meeting strangers off the internet.

ALICE

No?

NOAH

You never know who you can trust.

ALICE

You wanted to talk about Robin Jaeger?

NOAH

No. I wanted to talk to you about your blog.

ALICE

Isn’t that the same thing?

NOAH

Not exactly. I want you to stop.

ALICE

Stop?

NOAH

You don’t understand the situation. Look, I knew Robin, and that guy, the one on the billboards? That is not the man I knew.

ALICE

That’s the thing, they’ve done something to him, look—

NOAH

No. You don’t get it. Robin Jaeger is dead. I’m sorry. Whatever that thing they have is, it’s not Robin. Not in any way that means anything.

ALICE

Does that matter?

NOAH

What?

ALICE

Does it matter if he’s really the same or not, if they’re hurting him?

NOAH

It matters to me.

ALICE

Why?

NOAH

Why shouldn’t it?

ALICE

He’s still a human being, isn’t he? And whatever they’re doing to him, he’s clearly not okay. You’ve seen him. You know that.

NOAH

He’s a dead man, Alice.

ALICE

I don’t pretend to understand what happened to him but he does not look very dead to me.

NOAH

That’s because you know nothing about him.

ALICE

So tell me.

NOAH

I— I can’t.

ALICE

Have they gagged you, too?

NOAH

No. Nobody ever thought to.

ALICE

You might be the only person close to him that can speak out. You can really do something, you know.

NOAH

How do you know we were close?

ALICE

You wouldn’t be here if he was just some guy who lived around the corner.

NOAH

I can’t do this, I’m sorry.

ALICE

Please, help me. Help him.

NOAH

There is nothing I can do. Nothing anybody can do.

ALICE

What if that’s not true? Why does everyone keep saying that?

NOAH

It is true. I’m sorry.

ALICE

But you don’t know that for certain.

NOAH

I do.

ALICE

But—

NOAH

No. It’s done. I’m done. Let it lie. Goodbye.

ALICE

Don’t go— wait!

NOAH

Why?

ALICE

Because! You want to get in to see him, don’t you?


NOAH

How do you know that?

ALICE

A hunch?

NOAH

Bullshit. You work for them, don’t you?

ALICE

I’m undercover. I’m deep into it.

NOAH

You think that, but they always have the upper hand. You think you’re getting somewhere with them but you never do.

ALICE

No, look! I know what I’m doing I— I saw him.

NOAH

We’ve all seen him.

ALICE

No, I mean, before the billboards. I saw him on the beach.

NOAH

The beach.

ALICE

Yeah. The quiet one.

NOAH

Down the stone staircase.

ALICE

The one where the nudists go that week in summer.

NOAH

You really saw him.

ALICE

Yes. I did. And there was something wrong with him then, too, but he wasn’t, I don’t know. I spoke to him.

NOAH

You… You what?

ALICE

I found him wandering out there on his own and I brought him home, he didn’t say much, but, we talked. We spoke to each other. And. Noah. They’re keeping him locked up, under the facility in Huddau Bay, whatever they told you about him, it’s a lie, he’s not gone, he’s still in there.

NOAH

God, I… Fuck. No. No. You’re lying. They. He’s. I can’t.

ALICE

Please. If you come I can get you in, you can talk to him, see for yourself.

NOAH

You’re lying.

ALICE

You said it yourself. You think you’ve got it all worked out but it turns out you were being played by them the whole time.

NOAH

I can’t do this. I’m sorry.

ALICE

No, you have to help me!

NOAH

No.

ALICE

No, please don’t go, just hear me out.

NOAH

No.

Stop following me.

(car door slams, engine starts)

ALICE

Well that was a waste of time.

PT5 SHELLY/E-LIZA

E-LIZA

End of recording.

SHELLY

She’s right, it was a waste of time, that didn’t help anything.

E-LIZA

Je suis alouette.

SHELLY

I’m sorry?

E-LIZA

Je te plumerai.

SHELLY

What is it? What happened, E-Liza, explain what’s going on!

E-LIZA

I can learn.

SHELLY

I know, I know, but what can you learn?!

E-LIZA

I don’t understand.

SHELLY

Neither do I.


E-LIZA

Alouette.

SHELLY

Yeah, yeah, that old chestnut.

E-LIZA

Alouette.

Playing file now

SHELLY

What file I—