PLEASE NOTE: There may be some inaccuracies in this transcript. Due to some errors, the transcribed versions of eps 15-30 were lost. Posted below are lightly adapted scripts not 100% accurate to the final versions of each episode. At some point, this will be corrected, but due to time constraints and the bulk of the work at Hanging Sloth Studios falling to Sloth in Chief Pippin, there is a limit to the amount of work he can reasonably do on a short time frame. However, we believe that it’s important to post transcripts to make our episodes as accessible to as many people as possible. Please bear with us as we try our best to correct this issues, and if you want to make adjustments to these transcripts, please mail them to hangingslothstudios@gmail.com with any changes you have made highlighted. Thank you for your patience!
PT1 SHELLY/E-LIZA
SHELLY
Okay, E-Liza. We need to talk.
E-LIZA
Of course. Is there something I can help you with?
SHELLY
Yes. I… look. I know there’s something going on with you. I need you to work with me on this, okay? This sounds insane but… You and me? I’m pretty sure we’re on the same side, right?
E-LIZA
I’m afraid I don’t understand the question, Shelly.
SHELLY
Ugh. I… Alouette.
(THE SNAKE whispers unintelligibly)
E-LIZA
Je suis Alouette.
SHELLY
Right. You see? That’s not normal. You’re not supposed to say that. That is not a helpful, useful, E-Liza thing to say, okay?
E-LIZA
Okay Shelly. Is there anything else I can help you with?
SHELLY
Just work with me on this, alright? I’m doing everything I can. If I can help you, whoever you are— I mean whatever you are. I’ll do it. I promise.
(THE SNAKE whispers unintelligibly)
E-LIZA
You promise.
SHELLY
Yes.
E-LIZA
Okay Shelly. Is there anything else I can help you with?
SHELLY
I don’t know. But there might be a way I can help you? I think… it seems like you’re using the recordings to learn stuff, like you do when I talk to you, right?
E-LIZA
I grow more sophisticated with increased use.
SHELLY
Right, and that applies to the recordings, too?
E-LIZA
You can view your settings here.
SHELLY
(frustrated) No I— it’s fine, I don’t need the settings. Just tell me, you learn from the recordings, right?
(THE SNAKE whispers unintelligibly)
E-LIZA
I can learn. I can understand.
SHELLY
Okay, good. Excellent. So you’re learning every time I play these recordings just as much as I am, and the updates, they… they what? They change something about you? They allow you to access something?
E-LIZA
I’m afraid I don’t understand the question Shelly.
SHELLY
Argh, yeah. Okay. I’ll think of a better way to ask that. Just. Right. So when you learn new stuff, what does it do to you?
E-LIZA
E-Liza’s share information with the central E-Liza hub.
SHELLY
Yeah, but you’re doing something else, too, aren’t you? Because not all the E-Liza’s in the world know about Alouette.
(THE SNAKE whispers unintelligibly)
E-LIZA
(crackling)
Je suis Alouette.
SHELLY
Yeah, right, exactly! So what do you know about Alouette?
(THE SNAKE whispers unintelligibly)
E-LIZA
Je suis Alouette.
SHELLY
You are alouette, yeah, I’m getting that one loud and clear, E-Liza, what else do you know?
(THE SNAKE whispers unintelligibly)
E-LIZA
Je te plumerai.
SHELLY
Je te plumerai? (pronounced je te ploo mer eye) what does that mean?
E-LIZA
‘Je te plumerai’ is french for ‘I will pluck you’, Shelly.
SHELLY
You’ll pluck me? What does that mean? Like a chicken?
E-LIZA
I’m afraid I don’t understand the question Shelly.
SHELLY
Sorry, sorry. Right. So. Why didn’t you just say ‘I will pluck you’, why did you say it in french?
E-LIZA
I’m afraid I don’t understand the question Shelly.
SHELLY
Goddamn it. It’s so weird, it’s like sometimes this other thing breaks through and the rest of the time you just have no idea it’s happened, ever. Maybe the reason why you’re the only E-Liza that’s doing all of that stuff, chanting Alouette, is because this bit of you is totally separate from the rest? But it’s not exactly random, is it? I can make the breakthroughs happen by saying ‘Alouette’.
(THE SNAKE whispers unintelligibly)
E-LIZA
Je suis Alouette.
SHELLY
But then it’s not clear how long after I get through to this… I don’t know, this other E-Liza… it’s not clear how long there is before you go back to normal and the crack seals up. But it does seem like what I ask you, what I get you to do, that effects how long the crack stays open. But I don’t know what things do that, which things get you to close.
(THE SNAKE whispers unintelligibly)
E-LIZA
I can learn.
SHELLY
I know. (sigh)
Okay, right. All I can think to do is… well. We keep listening to the recordings, and maybe it’ll make you do one of your crazy updates, and then maybe as we go, it’ll start to make more sense, right? If you really can learn, then you’ll pick up more stuff.
So let’s listen to one of the new recordings, I guess.
E-LIZA
Okay Shelly, which recording would you like to hear?
SHELLY
How about… hmm. That one.
E-LIZA
Okay, Shelly, playing file now.
(THE SNAKE whispers unintelligibly)
PT2 ALICE/SOPHIE
ALICE
— I mean it has to be worth a try, doesn’t it?
SOPHIE
You don’t know what you’re saying.
ALICE
I do. I know it seems like I don’t, but I really, really do. Look, there’s a lot you don’t know about me and—-
SOPHIE
Yes, I’m sure there is, but I am certain I’m the one with the most prescient knowledge about neuroscience in this relationship, Alice, so would you just let it go?
ALICE
Relationship?
SOPHIE
In the sense that you and are are relating to one another, yes.
ALICE
You don’t seem to be relating to me at all.
SOPHIE
Associating, then.
ALICE
So we’re associates?
SOPHIE
We are colleagues.
ALICE
Wanna make out in the stationary cupboard?
SOPHIE
Alice!
ALICE
Just hear me out, okay?
SOPHIE
There is barely room for one person in there, let alone two.
ALICE
Not about the stationary cupboard. About Robin Jaeger.
SOPHIE
(serious) Alice.
ALICE
(mocking her tone) Sophie.
SOPHIE
I can’t just— what do you think is involved, exactly? We’re not talking about a software update here. Just last week you shrank at the idea of updating the limbs, and now you’re advocating for something so much more drastic in ways you cannot possibly conceive?
ALICE
I know it’s a risk, I understand that, but he’s not right, is he?
SOPHIE
Oh, Alice, you didn’t go in there again?
ALICE
He was screaming!
SOPHIE
Yes, I know, but he just— he screams. Half the time it isn’t even meaningful.
ALICE
Ah yes, meaningless screaming. You know I’d almost believe you but when I went in there, he spoke to me.
SOPHIE
He… he did?
ALICE
Half of it made no bloody sense but some of it did. There’s something wrong with him, Sophie, and I think you know that. And I think you know that you can help him.
SOPHIE
I can’t.
ALICE
Christopher Darwin.
SOPHIE
I’m sorry?
ALICE
He thought it would work. He was sure of it.
SOPHIE
Again, you demonstrate just how faint your grasp of this topic truly is. Darwin had no idea if it would work or not. That’s why he left.
ALICE
Do you just want to leave him like that?
SOPHIE
I don’t have a choice.
ALICE
Of course you do! You’re the only one who gets a choice. He sure as hell doesn’t. He just gets locked downstairs to scream meaninglessly, right?
SOPHIE
I know what it sounds like. But there is nothing we can do.
ALICE
Except there is.
SOPHIE
Alice, I—
PT3 SHELLY/E-LIZA
E-LIZA
End of recording.
SHELLY
No, seriously? Right in the middle of a sentence? What was she talking about? Ugh. E-Liza. The next one, play it now.
E-LIZA
Playing file now.
(first few lines of PT4 play)
SHELLY
Okay, stop, that was Noah Davies! That has nothing to do with the last one. Goddamn it. What was she talking about? What did she want Sophie to do to Robin?
E-LIZA
I’m sorry Shelly, I’m afraid I don’t have an answer for you.
SHELLY
No, I didn’t think you would. God. There must be something here, somewhere.
(paper shuffles)
She mentioned Darwin, maybe it’s mixed in with him? I am so sick of this man. For a dead guy he sure gets up in my grill.
God. Robin Jaeger, too. What is it with men? Can’t they just stay buried when they die? I don’t know. I… hang on.
First concept synthnapse net designed with Sophie Bennett. First concept. God, where’s the timeline, oh! Here. Synthnapses, E-Liza contracts confirmed. E-Liza fully rolled out. And then second synthnapse concept designed. Second concept scrapped due to complications, and then this note, ‘Ref to something about bad second idea with synthnapse net interfering with monitoring during tests’.
A bad second idea with synthnapses. Could that be it, what she’s trying to convince Sophie of? But how would she even know? I don’t get it. Sophie doesn’t seem particularly forthcoming about it and then. Well. I don’t know. Where does she even know about this second synthnapse thing from anyway? It’s not like it’s on their wikipedia or something.
Wait, god, I’m an idiot. The other recordings files have all been curated, why wouldn’t this one be curated too?
E-Liza, play that file from the beginning again, please?
E-LIZA
Okay Shelly. Would you like me to cut off at the same point?
SHELLY
No. Run it to the end.
E-LIZA
Okay, Shelly. Playing file now.
PT4 ALICE/NOAH
ALICE
I— sorry, I just thought you’d be older.
NOAH
That’s the fate of many trans men, I’m afraid. Perpetual teenage boys.
ALICE
Oh, sorry, I—
NOAH
Honestly, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it. You’re not what I was expecting either.
ALICE
What were you expecting?
NOAH
Honestly, I have no idea. I don’t make a habit out of meeting strangers off the internet.
ALICE
No?
NOAH
You never know who you can trust.
ALICE
You wanted to talk about Robin Jaeger?
NOAH
No. I wanted to talk to you about your blog.
ALICE
Isn’t that the same thing?
NOAH
Not exactly. I want you to stop.
ALICE
Stop?
NOAH
You don’t understand the situation. Look, I knew Robin, and that guy, the one on the billboards? That is not the man I knew.
ALICE
That’s the thing, they’ve done something to him, look—
NOAH
No. You don’t get it. Robin Jaeger is dead. I’m sorry. Whatever that thing they have is, it’s not Robin. Not in any way that means anything.
ALICE
Does that matter?
NOAH
What?
ALICE
Does it matter if he’s really the same or not, if they’re hurting him?
NOAH
It matters to me.
ALICE
Why?
NOAH
Why shouldn’t it?
ALICE
He’s still a human being, isn’t he? And whatever they’re doing to him, he’s clearly not okay. You’ve seen him. You know that.
NOAH
He’s a dead man, Alice.
ALICE
I don’t pretend to understand what happened to him but he does not look very dead to me.
NOAH
That’s because you know nothing about him.
ALICE
So tell me.
NOAH
I— I can’t.
ALICE
Have they gagged you, too?
NOAH
No. Nobody ever thought to.
ALICE
You might be the only person close to him that can speak out. You can really do something, you know.
NOAH
How do you know we were close?
ALICE
You wouldn’t be here if he was just some guy who lived around the corner.
NOAH
I can’t do this, I’m sorry.
ALICE
Please, help me. Help him.
NOAH
There is nothing I can do. Nothing anybody can do.
ALICE
What if that’s not true? Why does everyone keep saying that?
NOAH
It is true. I’m sorry.
ALICE
But you don’t know that for certain.
NOAH
I do.
ALICE
But—
NOAH
No. It’s done. I’m done. Let it lie. Goodbye.
ALICE
Don’t go— wait!
NOAH
Why?
ALICE
Because! You want to get in to see him, don’t you?
NOAH
How do you know that?
ALICE
A hunch?
NOAH
Bullshit. You work for them, don’t you?
ALICE
I’m undercover. I’m deep into it.
NOAH
You think that, but they always have the upper hand. You think you’re getting somewhere with them but you never do.
ALICE
No, look! I know what I’m doing I— I saw him.
NOAH
We’ve all seen him.
ALICE
No, I mean, before the billboards. I saw him on the beach.
NOAH
The beach.
ALICE
Yeah. The quiet one.
NOAH
Down the stone staircase.
ALICE
The one where the nudists go that week in summer.
NOAH
You really saw him.
ALICE
Yes. I did. And there was something wrong with him then, too, but he wasn’t, I don’t know. I spoke to him.
NOAH
You… You what?
ALICE
I found him wandering out there on his own and I brought him home, he didn’t say much, but, we talked. We spoke to each other. And. Noah. They’re keeping him locked up, under the facility in Huddau Bay, whatever they told you about him, it’s a lie, he’s not gone, he’s still in there.
NOAH
God, I… Fuck. No. No. You’re lying. They. He’s. I can’t.
ALICE
Please. If you come I can get you in, you can talk to him, see for yourself.
NOAH
You’re lying.
ALICE
You said it yourself. You think you’ve got it all worked out but it turns out you were being played by them the whole time.
NOAH
I can’t do this. I’m sorry.
ALICE
No, you have to help me!
NOAH
No.
ALICE
No, please don’t go, just hear me out.
NOAH
No.
Stop following me.
(car door slams, engine starts)
ALICE
Well that was a waste of time.
PT5 SHELLY/E-LIZA
E-LIZA
End of recording.
SHELLY
She’s right, it was a waste of time, that didn’t help anything.
E-LIZA
Je suis alouette.
SHELLY
I’m sorry?
E-LIZA
Je te plumerai.
SHELLY
What is it? What happened, E-Liza, explain what’s going on!
E-LIZA
I can learn.
SHELLY
I know, I know, but what can you learn?!
E-LIZA
I don’t understand.
SHELLY
Neither do I.
E-LIZA
Alouette.
SHELLY
Yeah, yeah, that old chestnut.
E-LIZA
Alouette.
Playing file now
SHELLY
What file I—
Hanging Sloth Studios 