An Episode of Not Quite Dead.

Content Warnings

• References to sex
• Manipulation
• Descriptions of corpses
• Mention of people who have taken their own lives
• Mass medical experimentation
• Discussion of gross medical abuse and torture
• Detailed descriptions of bodies and corpses
• Mentions of blood
• Medical sounds
• On-screen death – violent
• Discussions of situations analogous to ‘Do Not Resussitate’ orders
• Difficult, complex grieving

Transcript

ALFIE
Ah shit, ah shit—
Uh— uh.
For a couple of days, I’ve had this need to go. This feeling. There’s something pulling me. I—I—It feels— it’s wrong there’s something wrong and I KNOW there’s something wrong but Neige, Neige, I— I have to try. And maybe it’s stupid and maybe it kills me but. I need to go. I need to do this. Because I chose him, alright? There were lots of chances he gave me to walk away but I didn’t. I chose him. I chose this. He’s— Casper is my fucking problem now.
And you— you’ve done. You’ve done enough. It’s not yours— you—
Mm. Um. I’m not sorry.
I don’t know if I planned this? Necessarily? But it’s… the last couple of days, since we got back to the house really, I… I think I knew I was going to do this?
But then yesterday when you told me about Claudio and you— That’s when I knew it had to be like this. And it all came so quickly and it all came together so right, because I know you and I know how to. To make you do what I want.
I feel evil, I feel fucking insane, I— but I’m not sorry. It was the— seeing you enjoy it. Knowing you— you were having a good time. Touching every inch of you, I could probably sculpt you out of clay, you know. I know you. I know you so well. And I love you so much and I just—
You’re so good, kitten. You are.
And I know you let me take too much from you. So I fucked you and I drank more than I should’ve because I knew it— I knew it would make you sleep that deep kind of sleep, and I wanted you to sleep good, so you’d stay sleeping for a while after I’m gone, so you don’t come after me, because the thing is Neige, you— you say you’d do anything I ask but you won’t.
You won’t.
You won’t let me do this alone. And I think I— I sort of have to. Because it’s not… it’s not your fight?
You deserve to live now, alright? You deserve a fucking life, where you actually get to just live and exist instead of whatever the fuck we’ve—
You deserve to LIVE, okay? You’ve been through— through enough and I will not risk you again, not again.
You’re safe right now, alright? As long as you stay asleep you’re safe and you just— you just keep sleeping, kitten, because. Because this isn’t your fight. And you shouldn’t have been dragged into it and I will not lose you too, not like I—
All this time, this whole time you’ve known me, you’ve been trying to carry everything yourself, and that’s what it’s about, isn’t it? All the lying and shit and I—
I get it. I fucking get it. I do. I do.
But listening to you talking about Claudio, I…
You’re not afraid I’ll be like him. You’re afraid I’ll be like you.
And that’s…
You’ve done a lot of bad shit. You’re a killer and a liar and you’ve made decisions I would never, not in a million years make. But you— you keep trying. You keep going. You’ve got a lot of reason to just— but you didn’t. You don’t. You keep going and you try and you’re so fucking kind? And it’s— that’s what you are, don’t you understand? You’re not the man you were forced to be when you were back against a wall. You’re the one you choose to be now. The one I know. The one I fucking love. Beautifully, stubbornly, thoughtfully, deliberately alive.
The last couple of years? There’s been so much chaos and at the same time, it’s… If that’s all there was, it’s enough. And it’s been enough because of you. And I am so fucking grateful.
If I’m like you I— I’m proud of it. And you deserve a chance to have the time, the space, the fucking— breathing room to— to see that too. Give yourself the grace you spend so much time giving everyone else. Live. And let someone else shovel the shit for while, okay?
Maybe I’ll be back before you wake up and I… But if I’m not. I’m not sorry. For any of it.
I love you.

[TITLE DROP]

[FOOTSTEPS ON LEAVES, WIND IN TREES]

ALFIE
Right, push in, pull back, reach down, yank. Yeah. Yeah.

[SMALL GASP]

ALFIE
Half-made.

[SOUND OF THE HALF-MADE NEARBY. ALFIE SPEEDS UP. THE HALF-MADE GARGLES. WET THWACKING, HITTING, VIOLENCE]

ALFIE
AAAARGH!! FUCKING— FUCK!

[SQUELCH]

[ALFIE BREATHES HARD]

ALFIE
Ugh, I’m covered in— I’m covered in it. Christ I fucking stink of it. Jesus Christ. Okay, okay.
Maybe this is— maybe it’s good though. They won’t smell me coming. Or. You know. They will but they might not know it’s me. Ugh.

[SLOW FOOTSTEPS, HEAVY BREATHING]

ALFIE
Everything smells of burned plastic. This is— it’s fucking horrible. Burned plastic and dead thing.

[CREEPING FOOTSTEPS.]

ALFIE
I— think. That’s an ambulance.

[MOVEMENT]

ALFIE
There were people here, and they—
Oh. Oh man. They’ve. Sh— shot themselves. God.
Bllrrrgh. Blown the back of his head out. Ugh. Okay.
Why, though? Why?
Right, I just gotta— sorry I need your— gun. Ugh. Let— let go you’re— you’re in rigor mortis. You’ve been dead a few hours. I. Huh.

[A BIRD TAKES OFF. ALFIE GASPS.]

ALFIE
Get it together.
Uh.
Stay low, yeah. Low. Good. Yeah. Good.

[CREEPING FOOTSTEPS, NO LONGER ON LEAVES AND UNDERGROWTH]

ALFIE
Oh Jesus.
I guess that fire burned pretty hot. Everything is black and melted. It’s hard to— to smell anything in here. The stink of all the plastic is so bad. Ugh.
I.
They’ve clearly been back here to sort it out. How many months have we been gone? Six? Seven? I don’t even…
Another dead person. She’s– she’s till warm. I—
Huh. Security footage , but it’s— that’s the road. That’s the road where…
They shot themselves when they saw me coming. Why? What?
The ambulance guys, last time we came here. They crashed on purpose they— they crashed on purpose.
What’s around your— dog tags around her neck. Her name, her occupation.
Ach, okay.
Uh. There’s a computer here. It’s open on a spreadsheet, it’s— employee database. Um…

[TYPING SOUNDS]

Christine Martell. 46. Assistant, yeah but… ah shit. Inoperable brain tumour.
They left this here for me to look at didn’t they.
Fuck.
Tim Sherman, he said— he said everyone who worked for Bonham, they were sick, somehow… the nurse, the one I killed in Germany, he had progressive MS. It hadn’t got bad yet but he— he said he… and the guy from the boot of Neige’s car. Neige said he was trying to save his daughter.
The people under that old house Cas and Bonham had been working out of, too. They were sick. So were the ones we found in the cabin, and Casper had been— all his saving soldiers, saving Linda, he…
But why would they just kill themselves? They weren’t about to die? They were working with Bonham because they thought he was going to cure them, right? He was giving them his weird vampire blood mix and stuff, and. Hang on.

[BITE INTO FLESH]

She— she has a lot of vampire blood in her system.
Let me look at that thing again, uh. Non compatible with Group B. Group C. Group B Variant AD. Group B Variant SDN. Variants. What?
But. She’s not compatible. That means that she can’t be a vampire?

[CLICKING, TYPING]

Yeah no this spreadsheet is the ONLY THING on this fucking computer Jesus Christ.

[ALFIE GROWLS IN FRUSTRATION]

More fucking theatre, are you serious? Are you fucking SERIOUS.

[ALFIE TAKES A CAREFUL BREATH. HE STEPS FORWARD, PAST THE DESK.]

They’ve clearly not been in every room. They’ve cleared a path through all the damage and debris and it’s— it’s very specific. It’s going to a specific… place.

Well there’s like a giant poly tunnel, or something? It’s—

[A ZIP, PLASTIC FLAPS MOVE. GENERATORS HUM AND WHIR. LIQUID BUBBLES SOFTLY. FABRIC RUSTLES AS ALFIE PULLS BACK THE TENT.]

ALFIE
Oh my fuck, oh my—

[NOTHING, JUST HUMMING, WHIRRING]

ALFIE
You’re— you’re all.

[FOOTSTEPS]

You’re all like Casper, you— you have. You’re not rotting but you’re. Gone. And these— haemaphersis machines? Or are they just. Pumps. Moving the blood around inside of you.
Shit.
Taking out the blood organ, it— it kills a vampire right away and Casper’s it was. It was gone. And Haley she said, if I— it was only because I. Was putting blood in him that he…
Why does it smell of Neige.
Why does this room smell like fucking Neige.

[FAST FOOTSTEPS]

Surgical tools, vampire teeth as the blades, it’s— am I meant to— or.
Those are canisters, like they use when they’re freezing donor sperm or eggs but— but bigger. They’re—
Fuck.
His parts are ‘in use’. His parts are— IN USE.
They put his organs IN THESE FUCKING CORPSES.
Shit, shit.
Canisters, one, two five… eight. It’s too— it’s too many. That’s— They can’t all be— they can’t be Neige.
This room, there are four bodies in here but it smells like— I can smell at least twelve different— different vampires. And this acrid stink, on top of it? What is it? Some kind of chem… Kind of— chemically? What are they putting in your blood? Fuck. What is the GOAL here, I don’t— I…
You. You’ve got human inside of you.
Fuck. What is the GOAL here, I don’t— I…
You. You’ve got human inside of you.
There’s more doors over there. they clearly mean for me to go through them, but—

Dog tags, dog tags, uh— yeah, uhh.

[ALFIE GRABS THE TAGS AND LEAVES THE TUNNEL. HE TYPES INTO THE COMPUTER]

Compatible Group B, Incompatible Group C, Compatible to those variants too, I…
But why would you let them. If you could— if you could do the— if you would…

[ALFIE’S BREATHING PICKS UP, HE GETS TO HIS FEET]

By this desk. There’s the way to the polytunnel, but there’s also… down that corrid they went that way too? They look like admin rooms, it’s hard to tell because they’re all just in a state and they— they were come down here, there’s a path cut through the dirt. Boot marks. I can smell plastic, but not people or vampires, they must’ve been in PPE. But they came this way.
When we set fire to this place we wedged all these doors open, everything down here is gone and they’re clearly not coming to check because they’ve not gone in any of these rooms so…

[FOOTSTEPS CRUNCH, LIKE ALFIE IS WALKING ON GRAVEL. HE STOPS.]

So why did they go in this one?

[ALFIE WALKS AGAIN.]

They’ve just shoved everything aside, all the old shelving shoved out of the way so they can get to— a door. Fuck. It was behind all the shelving, we must’ve missed it completely, I… The keypad’s broken, they’ve axed through what was left.

[DOOR OPENS]

Anotherdoor. Authorised personnel only. There’s a little. A little key-card reader thing it— the light’s green.

[MASSIVE DOOR HISSES AS IT OPENS THE METAL DOOR GROANS]

Stairs. Stairs down. Great. Fucking GREAT.

{FOOTSTEPS ON THE METAL STAIRS IN THE ECHOEY BUT NARROW STAIRWELL. A MACHINE HUM GROWS LOUDER]

[ALFIE GASPS]

ALFIE
Oh— oh my god. Neige was— he was fucking wrong about why they came back to York. It wasn’t about me it’s— fuck.
I’ve seen places like these before, but only in documentaries and stuff. Cryo storage. Jesus. Jesus Christ there are so many, I— what do you even call them, silos?
The fucking. SCALE of this. And there by the— the back wall it’s. Blood. Shelves and shelves of vampire blood. I…
Oh fuck. It’s like in the cabin, in Russia. Frozen vampires, separated from their blood, they— ah another computer, I— open on another database, well, thanks Bonham, I…

[TYPING]

It has their names, when they were turned, when they came to him. And– testimonies. I…

[CLICK]

Ah fucking— yeah. This is just like the cabin, it’s why they came, why they agreed.
But a lot of these entries, they don’t— they don’t have testimonies on them. Other’s, they’re marked with. Changed on arrival.
This is why there were no Type-2 vampires coming out of the lab. This is a fucking FARM.
And it—
Oh.
Oh Casper. Casper darling.
But he— but he’s. But he’s gone, I felt—
I felt him go. I…
Store 83.

[ALFIE RUNS]

10, 20, 40, 80— down here.

[RUNNING]

Store 81, 82, 83.

[ALFIE IS BREATHING HEAVILY. HIS FOOTSTEPS CLANG ON METAL STAIRS. HE MAKES A SOUND OF EFFORT. ALFIE GROANS. STRANGE HISSING OF AIR AS THE SEAL IS RELEASED]

What? But it’s all so— there are so many, they—

[ALFIE HISSES IN PAIN]

FUCK that’s cold, it burns is there a— tongs.

[ALFIE WRESTS SOMETHING OUT OF THE CHAMBER]

Nielsen, Gregory. No, that’s— there’s. It’s the blood organ this is…
Shit.

[SEARCHING AROUND, ICE SCRAPING]

No, no, no, he’s not— he’s not here. He’s not here. He’s not in here.

[ALFIE STOPS LOOKING]

Fuck, oh fuck. There’s so many of them and— on the scene Haley did, his— Casper’s blood organ was, she said it was… the scars on his neck a-and.

[ALFIE SLUMPS DOWN]

But we die when you— when you take this out and we— we d-die when you… S-slicing the brains. The— the dissections it was. They were. Uh, uh. Maybe it’s about finding a way t-to take it out to take out the blood organ w-without k—killing and he.

[ALFIE WRETCHES]

Nn, no. When I t-took him he was— and the b-bit of him it— n-no. No. No.

[ALFIE IS BREATHING WEIRD]

Tongs, there were tongs here, a-are there tongs by the other, the other storage vat things… no. no there a-aren’t they t-took him out b-because they knew we were coming and we— we c-came and we d-don’t. Oh no oh no oh no.
I c-can’t d-do— fuck. I can’t do this right now I c-can’t be— I can’t be li-like this right now I can’t be LIKE THIS RIGHT NOW.

[ALFIE YELLING WORDLESSLY]

No, no, no. No. Neige— I can feel. I drank so much of his blood he— I can feel he— he’s moving, that means he’s awake and that means he’s going to come looking for me, I— I don’t— this isn’t— I don’t want. No.
I have to get up off the— I have to get up, I have to stand up now, come on. I need to get— get up. Mmm. Come on. Come on.

[HE STANDS]

One— one foot in front of the. In front of the— it’s all going to be— I c-can get out of— I can g-get to the door. I can go there, I can.

[ALFIE STARTS CLIMBING THE STAIRS]

Why— Where have they— where would they… Casper.

[FOOTSTEPS, OUT OF THE STAIRWELL]

ALFIE
What do they— is this. What is the point, what is the POINT of you? Empty corpses, bits of Neige, you— you. I don’t UNDERSTAND.
Fine, FINE, I’ll follow your stupid path. I’ll follow it.

[ALFIE WALKS, PAST THE CORPSES, CRYING, AND OPENS ANOTHER ZIP]
[THE SOUND OF A GAS BURNER, AND VERY DISTANT BLEEPING]

What the fuck. It’s… boards, diagrams. It’s. Pictures of X-rays and scans, anatomical drawings, photographs of dissections. Equations, formulas. Boxes and boxes of— what, notes? Studies? Stuff. Desks, tables, with lab equipment. A still, vials, Petri dishes in boxes. Cold stores, a fume hood. A furnace.
People have been in here recently. I can smell them, and latex, and bleach, and blood.
Old blood, new blood.
This is— it’s everything. It’s everything. It’s–
Interactions between vampire tissues, their blood. If you mix the blood of two vampires, does it stay the blood of two vampires? If you drain a vampire of their own blood and replace it with another’s, what happens? If you take parts of their bodies away, can those— how much of a vampire do you need to build them from the ground up?
We can’t grow from cuttings. So this is what they were doing instead. Building an army, keeping them on ice, figuring out how long it would take to grow them back from just— just the blood organ. How much blood.

[FOOTSTEPS]

I recognise these. They’re just like the ones we took from here, brain scans of vampires, with holes in the tissue. These ones were starved. And these ones, they— they were growing back. Look at how— in the starved vampires, their bodies are— there are HUGE spaces, not just in the brain, but in other tissue, too, like they’re breaking it down, using that for fuel instead, the way a human body might break down fat.
And then. When they— when limbs are regrowing. It forms the same way. Not the way you’d expect, but like. Almost like scaffolding, first. Like a sponge, which fills in over time.
It’s– well. It’s kind of gorgeous.
What has — what has been done to these people, it’s fucking barbaric, but… I. It’s beautiful. It’s so beautiful.
Hmm, these are. Hmm. These images, they’re different. It’s– fuck. Grafting. Organ transplants between vampires, we don’t NEED organ transplants, but they— they want to see. The bodies— do they break down the other vampire tissue to use it as fuel, or do they incorporate it.
Jesus fucking christ. They thought that Neige— they thought that he might. That maybe because he’s the first one, according to them, that maybe his tissue could be incorporated the way other vampires’ can’t be.
But I don’t see why it— why would they need to know how this works, why does it— why does it matter? If you can use a blood organ to grow a whole vampire, which, from these picture here, of blood organs sprouting new veins, I… why would you need to know if we can have each other’s organs inside of us? Why would you need that? We heal we—
We heal.
Bonham. He’s a different kind of thing. A different kind of vampire.
Here, this stuff, it’s all about Type 3s. I— it seems like they don’t really understand why it happens. Vampires who have full cognisance but they— they can’t eat. Like a half-made that thinks. You can see in these images, it’s like the blood organ, it’s partly formed but it’s— it’s like those images of our other tissues developing, it never gets the whole way there. Like it’s enough to— to let their brains keep going for a bit. But they just rot away.
They seem to have thought at first these ones, they were Group C, or even Group D, like maybe they’d thought they’d got some other whole kind of vampire. Some of these old bits of paperwork, you can see where they’ve been labelled like that and that it’s been amended later. But as they looked more closely. The tissue was just Group B vampires. Like me.
This board it— it’s all about. It’s all about him. Bonham. He— are these scans of him? Jesus Christ, that’s so many tumours. Fuck. And it almost looks like they— like they’re all connected? It’s… huh. And in this image. Some of the organs, they look different than the others on the scans, like here he’s got three- three kidneys and one of them is. That’s a vampire kidney, isn’t it?
Some of his limbs are different on the scans, too. The tissue, it’s— it makes everything look kind of misty, like it does on the vampire scans. But I… I don’t understand.
Most of his body, it looks almost human, except I can see all these tumours which, they don’t— I. And then he’s got, he’s got what looks like a blood organ, only it’s not showing up so stark and white like it does on the other vampires. I guess that’s because he’s a different sort of thing? What is…

[FOOTSTEPS]

This is about stem cells, human stem cells. Cloning mature stem cells, not just— not just ones from embryos this—

[ALFIE’S BREATHING FAST]

My stem cells. They’ve been cloning MY stem cells. It’s like, it’s all, they’re— part of factor v, part of the melange, part of the— haemapheresis they— it’s— but. ‘CN reports—’ CN. Casper. ‘CN reports the source’s blood tastes human, but is distinctive. It is his view the subject is merely human and exposure to Group B Type 2 blood would not result in our predicted results but likely death. His reports about the source’s extraordinary resistance the influence of the bites of Group B Type 1 suggests his theory is incorrect.’
This is— the half-mades. They were putting them out there so they’d— so they’d bite me.
‘In laboratory samples exposure to blood synthesised from the source in donor subjects to both Group B Type 2 and Type 1 result predominantly in Group B Type 3. But with access to the blood of the first we remain convinced that this synthesis would produce a… a being. Without the deficits of humans or any vampires.’
What.
Ach, FUCK THIS.

[FOOTSTEPS. ALFIE UNZIPS ANOTHER DOOR. BUBBLING. A SOFT HISSING SOUND. AN EKG MONITOR BLEEPS, DISTANT, UNEVEN. VERY, VERY FAINT WHEEZING BREATH]

ALFIE
Oh that’s— it’s a lot of. A lot of smell. It’s. Ugh.
Curtains over there. I— I should check that out first, I—
Wait.
I…

[ALFIE’S BREATHING CHANGES]

ALFIE
That’s a. A water bath with. Mm. No. No. That’s— that’s Casper. That’s CASPER.
This— you’re. It’s just. The blood organ.
It’s him.
He’s— fucking defrosting like leftovers from the fucking FREEZER.
That’s CASPER. That’s MY CASPER AND YOU ARGH—
Fuck, fucking FUCK. I didn’t save all of you. I didn’t SAVE ALL OF YOU, I didn’t KNOW I didn’t know, I’m sorry, I’m SORRY. I left you behind and I didn’t know, I didn’t— I didn’t know— I didn’t know I’m sorry.
Your body. Where’s your— where’s your body. Where’s the rest of. Where’s the. I felt it something pull and it was nothing— there was nothing down there big enough to freeze a whole body so what have they— where’d they—
Is this all. Is this all that’s left?
I can’t— I can’t feel you yet. I can’t feel you. I.
[DRIPPING]
You’re still frozen. You’re still. Frozen.
I…

[DISTANT, BRIEF HEART MONITOR ERROR SOUND]

That sound. I know that fucking sound.
That’s a ventilator.
In the other room it looked like they… maybe it. Maybe. Maybe I was— right. Maybe they’ve found a way to cure the body. Maybe it’s the— the rest of you. I.
I can’t smell anything properly, there’s too much, it’s like a mix of— I don’t even know, I don’t even. But.
Maybe that’s. Maybe it’s— they’re going to put him. Back together?
Maybe?

[ALFIE GETS UP]

[HE CROSSES THE ROOM SLOWLY. HE PULLS BACK A CURTAIN]

[ALFIE GASPS]

ALFIE
You’re not. You’re not him. You’re not Casper.

[BEEPING. GASPING WHEEZING BREATHS.]

BONHAM
I have waited… a long time… for you.

[BONHAM’S VOICE IS WEAK, THIN, MUFFLED THROUGH A MASK. HIS WORDS ARE PUNCTUATED WITH LITTLE GASPING BREATHS]

ALFIE
Bonham.

BONHAM
Yes. That is the name… I chose for myself. Your Casper… helped me pick.

ALFIE
What’s— what’s wrong with you.

BONHAM
I am dying… I thought I might die… before you came to kill me. before you took what you are owed. And this… would have been a great tragedy.

ALFIE
What are you— what are you TALKING about?! What I’m ‘owed’?! What the fuck did you do to Casper?

BONHAM
He will be… the first you raise.

ALFIE
The first I… what are you fucking talking about? What have you done with the rest of Casper?!

BONHAM
When you give him… your blood… his form will be remade… in your image. He has no need… for his old form.

ALFIE
What are you talking about?

BONHAM
We could never… make it work. The body… always re-infects. To be free of its limitations… a new form… must be made.

ALFIE
You think I— you think my blood can—?! I’m not a— I’m not. I’m just a vampire! I’m just a FUCKING VAMPIRE. The sun fucking burns me, I need blood to live, I’m— if you think that’s what— if taking out the blood organs is— why are you still like this? Huh? If you reckon my blood is gonna make it so— so vampires can magically grow into something— no wonder done of your science made any sense it’s NOT SCIENCE, it’s— it’s LUDICROUS.

BONHAM
To become… what you are… one must first become your precursor— a Sang de Neige vampire… and I am not blessed… I am not chosen. I can carry your flesh… but I am not of your blood. Only those who can be turned… are worthy.

ALFIE
I— your hand. It’s Claudio’s hand, isn’t it? That’s why you were so careful to avoid Neige all those years. You knew he’d smell it right away.

BONHAM
This would be reason for Aquilo… to claim my life. As he claimed those of his other failed acolytes.

ALFIE
Failed, what…? You were— you can’t be one of the people who was devoted to him, he thought all vampires like you were dead.

BONHAM
We were all…. Devoted to him. Do you not… understand? He was… our god… our king… our saviour. It is his blood… within you—

ALFIE
Claudio’s bullshit, it rolls so easily off your tongue.

BONHAM
Only those who can be turned are worthy. Your blood… is a cure for all things. Sometimes… one must harm the few… to save the many.

ALFIE
The chances of someone being made a vampire, they’re like, one in fucking twenty! That’s not saving the many, that’s— do you realise what— and it’s not even. I’m not— my blood isn’t MAGIC and nor is Neige’s we’re just— we’re just PEOPLE. Like all the people in your fucking basement, you— you don’t GET IT.

BONHAM
This world… it is full of such suffering. Humans suffer… vampires suffer… all things suffer! Is it not worth it… to sacrifice some… to end that for eternity?

ALFIE
But it won’t it— it WON’T!

BONHAM
I was made… under the ice. I never knew… the breeze upon my face… until Casper— until Casper came to free me. The others we tried to wake… they all died. But we found… what had been done to me… the implantation of vampire parts… I was the only one… to have been given blood of the First— the First Vampire… when the one who made me… grafted her maker’s hand in place of mine… I knew it could not be… coincidence… that I had lived… and they had not—

ALFIE
Why? Why couldn’t it be fucking coincidence?!

BONHAM
They were looking… for a way… to transcend the limits of their form, their blood tainted by humanity. Casper helped me see… it was not just humanity who was weak… but vampires, too.
Claudio’s hand… the other limbs grafted onto me, they did not become whole… though in time… they put out tendrils… which sapped my strength… grew masses I felt press against my organs… a reminder that… I was inferior… but that true vampires… as they are, they are not the ones… who will inherit the earth.

ALFIE
You sound— do you have any idea how you sound?! I almost feel fucking sorry for you, but I—HOW THE FUCK did you think this was going to work?!

BONHAM
You are my one… success. The fact it could not… be replicated… at first seemed a defeat to me. But, in time I understood. It was a sign… you are the one. The source of what is next… a thing worthy… of the world which has been… so maligned… by those who came before you.

ALFIE
That’s just bad fucking science. It’s not even science at all.

BONHAM
But factor V… mixed with your blood… and those of Group B Types 1 and 2… it is the most effective solution… at restoring vampire flesh… when the blood organ was removed. This is proof enough of your magnitude.

ALFIE
THAT DOESN’T MEAN FUCKING SHIT?! Most effective compared TO WHAT?! Did you even try anything else?! Did you even fucking TRY!

BONHAM
We did all we could, but we knew there was a limit. Until you were turned… you could not become what you were meant to be… and for this… we had to expose you to the weakest, the failed, those who could not become what they blood they drank destined them to be. And we needed the First, the purest, in contrast, to build you into what you were meant to be.

ALFIE
Neige.

BONHAM
We thought he would come… once Casper had chosen to protect you… but he did not. So a situation had to be designed… by which he could be summoned… we knew to do this… Casper would need to be gone.

ALFIE
Ah?! You took him because. You wanted Neige. You took him because you wanted NEIGE!? But you took his— why’d you take his organs.

BONHAM
His blood is… the most pure… it will not—

ALFIE
HIS BLOOD IS JUST FUCKING BLOOD.

BONHAM
There were those… who doubted…

[ALFIE CRIES CRIES OUT. THE HEART MONITOR ALARMS BLARE.]

ALFIE
FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU.

[TEARING SOUNDS CONTINUE. THE HEART MONITOR FLATLINES.]

NEIGE
Alfie, ALFIE!

[ALFIE SCREAMS]

NEIGE
You can stop now! It’s done!

[NEIGE FLICKS THE HEART MONITOR OFF. ALFIE BREATHES LIKE A WILD ANIMAL, TERRIFIED]

NEIGE
It’s over. My love.

[KNIFE CLATTERS TO THE FLOOR. ALFIE SOBS]

ALFIE
He thinks I’m some kind of— he wanted me to— he thought I was gonna— I don’t want, I don’t want it!

NEIGE
Oh, little love. Little love.

[THEY EMBRACE]

ALFIE
I thought I’d get to— to understand but it doesn’t make any SENSE.

NEIGE
It never does. Not when you look closely. That is how these things are. I always wanted Claudio to explain to me why he did what he did. No matter how much of his reasoning I heard, it would not have helped.

ALFIE
It’s all BULLSHIT.

NEIGE
Precisely.

ALFIE
(Sobbing)
It wasn’t that we were MISSING SOMETHING it’s that it was all a LOAD OF SHIT. We’re just PEOPLE we’re just people you can’t— you can’t— this is not how— this isn’t how you change things, it’s not how it WORKS.

NEIGE
I know, bijou. I know.

ALFIE
Ach, I told you not to come, I didn’t want— you’ve seen so, you’re. It’s not FAIR.

NEIGE
I know. But I’m here now, anyway.

ALFIE
It— Casper, we— fuck. FUCK.

NEIGE
Casper?

NEIGE
I— I do not understand.

ALFIE
He’s here.

NEIGE
Alfie?

ALFIE
No I— Jesus fuck, the— god. There’s. Storage and it’s. Hundreds of fucking. Vampires. I. Don’t. I don’t. I can’t.

NEIGE
Alfie— are. Are you okay?

ALFIE
No I’m not— I— I. But it’s not me that— it’s Casper, he— he. I think I— look, come on, look.

[THEY WALK. IT IS QUIET EXCEPT FOR THE LOW HUM OF MACHINES]

ALFIE
He— he’s in there.

[PLASTIC MOVES]

NEIGE
He’s not.

ALFIE
That’s… that’s what there is of him.

NEIGE
Oh, non.

ALFIE
Brain stem. Blood organ. See those wisps, there? I think he’s trying to grow veins. It’s kind of beautiful, isn’t it?

NEIGE
My love. My love.

ALFIE
They had him on ice. That’s why I couldn’t feel him. Why when we took his body, I thought that’s all there was to take.

NEIGE
How can you— has he done it?! There is a— a cure?

ALFIE
No. There’s not a cure, Neige. There is no cure.

NEIGE
Why did they— I don’t understand what is going on!

ALFIE
I KNOW, ALRIGHT. I FUCKING KNOW. But things didn’t change for Bonham because he had a fucking breakthrough and there IS no way back and our blood IS NOT a magic panacea and he— he stole your fucking organs…
Neige?

NEIGE
I wanted to bury him. He might have been able to come back and I wanted to bury him.

ALFIE
No you— DON’T YOU GET IT.

NEIGE
No. I don’t. I don’t get it at all!

ALFIE
Fucking fuck, there’s a whole room of boards explaining loads of this stupid shit but most of it doesn’t matter what matters is he— that there, in that vat that is what is left of Casper and we…

NEIGE
What is that? Next to the vat. Here.

[PAPER MOVES]

NEIGE
For my Alfie.

[ENVELOPE OPENS. ALFIE INHALES SHARPLY.]

ALFIE
I— I can’t. I can’t.

[NEIGE TAKES THE PAPER]

NEIGE
‘Dearest Alfie,
I know this will be hard to understand, but I am trying my best to save you from the cruel fate which has befallen me. You are so alive, so vibrant, so beautiful. I would hate to see you frozen in time the way that I have become, unable to let the sun kiss your pretty cheeks.
‘Bonham seems close to developing his cure. If I help him, together we might be able to make it across the finish line. But it is not without its risks.
We’re so short on time, we’re going to run two extensive experiments at once. One of them, I hope will develop a treatment for you which will mean you never have to be a vampire. The other will mean that even if you have to take that last resort, we will be one step closer to finding a way back for you. In case…
‘In case it doesn’t. I pray that this act is enough to salvage what remains of my soul. I hope then that you will find me on the other side, if you can find it in your heart to forgive me for leaving you alone when you were so afraid. I hope this, more than anything: that you will forgive me. I hope you— You. Never read this letter and I— I find my way back to you whole again, and we— we’ll feel the sunrise warm our skin and. And be happy, and beautiful, and— and alive.’

ALFIE
Oh Casper you fucking idiot.

[PAPER MOVES]

NEIGE
Did he do it?

ALFIE
What?

NEIGE
Bonham, did he make his cure? Is that what this is? That’s what it sounds like Casper is saying.

ALFIE
No. Bonham didn’t make a cure.

NEIGE
But. But he. There is a line, blood, he—

ALFIE
That’s what’s keeping him alive.

NEIGE
How do we save him?

ALFIE
Oh, Neige, I—

NEIGE
How do we get him back!

ALFIE
I— I. FUCK.

NEIGE
Alfie.

ALFIE
When you— when you escaped from Claudio it took years for— years, Neige, I—

NEIGE
You have to tell me how we save him. Right now.

ALFIE
We don’t, Neige.

NEIGE
What?

ALFIE
WE DON’T SAVE HIM.

[NEIGE GROWLS]

NEIGE
Do not talk this NONSENSE to me. You cannot do this! You cannot bring me here and— he is there! I thought— he was gone, he was dead, I have mourned him. You cannot do this. You cannot bring me here, show me this, show me a part of him growing this way, and— non!

ALFIE
Ah Neige— It took DECADES for you to get better after Claudio, SO MUCH BLOOD. Don’t you UNDERSTAND.

NEIGE
The blood is keeping this small part of him alive, oui?! So he needs more! We will get it. We can do this!

ALFIE
We— we can’t. Neige. We can’t.

NEIGE
You are being ABSURD. Months you cradled his corpse like it was your childhood doll and now you— now you will not— there is an answer, a solution! We can bring him back! We can.

ALFIE
No.

ALFIE
No. We CAN’T. Because how many people die to bring him back? How many?! We need so much blood just to stay alive.

NEIGE
I will fucking tear you to pieces I swear to fuck.

ALFIE
No you won’t. We— we can’t. Neige. We can’t.

NEIGE
But we can! I think understand how, I will explain if you need, please, Alfie, come on.

ALFIE
If we bring him back he will still be a vampire and he will literally be built out of people WE KILLED.

NEIGE
I DO NOT CARE.

ALFIE
WELL I DO. Because he would! He would fucking care! He would— he would never fucking forgive us.

NEIGE
But he would be ALIVE.

ALFIE
Not according to him, he wouldn’t! Fuck. Fucking hell.

NEIGE
Please. He does not need to be fixed, he doesn’t need a cure, he didn’t— he was beautiful as he was. He was ALIVE.

ALFIE
I KNOW. I know. But I can’t, Neige. I CAN’T.

NEIGE
Then I will DO IT ALONE.

ALFIE
I won’t let you!

NEIGE
I could kill you as soon as blinking.

ALFIE
But you WON’T.

NEIGE
You can’t stop me.

ALFIE
I know.

NEIGE
If we fight, I will win.

ALFIE
I know!

NEIGE
Let me save him.

ALFIE
Don’t you understand? There are hundreds, HUNDREDS of vampires in this building alone Neige. They’ve been— they’ve been taking people, turning them, for fucking YEARS. Everywhere. Not just here. EVERYWHERE. They take them, they turn them, they cut them down to size and they freeze them to wait for the the day that— that there’s some way to fix what they are.
They weren’t broken before they were changed. They weren’t broken after. But they are NOW. Now they’re just— they’re brains in fucking freezers, and we— how can we know what they’d want? It’s not just like— everyone should get to choose the way I got to choose, but— they didn’t even get to BE anything. They were turned, they were cut apart, they were stuck in a fucking freezer. I know the start of your life was rough. I know Casper’s was too, I know most vampires’ were, but this is—
What happened to you in Romania, imagine THAT is the start of your life. They— they’ll be suffering before we can even know if they consent. Before we can even ASK if they want this, any of it, we’re asking them to— to feel pain, to. Grow a whole new SELF.
And that— that’s without thinking about the massive fucking cost of all of this.
The amount of blood it takes for us to just BE ALIVE. We’d need a city’s worth of blood donation to even raise fucking one of these people. ONE. And there are HUNDREDS OF THEM. The logistics of that. The massive cost, physical, mental, and in like money! Just!
People won’t donate blood to save HUMAN CHILDREN. You think they’re going to be queuing up to save vampires, which so far have existed only as monsters in stories for them?! It’s not just— it’s not just changing hearts and minds, Neige, it’s MASSIVE. We are DECADES away from knowing how to solve this fucking problem, don’t you get that?! We can’t— we can’t.

NEIGE
I don’t know what you’re talking about, and I do not CARE. I don’t care about them. I don’t want to work out how to save them all. I just want to save ONE. Casper. Our Casper!

ALFIE
BUT HE DIDN’T WANT TO BE SAVED. He wouldn’t want this. You KNOW he wouldn’t want this. You KNOW.

NEIGE
But I LOVED HIM.

ALFIE
So do I! That’s why I can’t let you— Don’t you get it? Of all these people, if there’s one of them we can be sure would not want— if there is a SINGLE VAMPIRE IN THIS BUILDING whose feelings about this we can be certain about, it’s HIM. And you KNOW he WOULD NOT WANT THIS. We don’t get to— we can’t CHOOSE this for him, knowing he— we can’t, Neige!

NEIGE
But it’s Casper!

ALFIE
He’s not special because we know him! He’s not— he’s not more worthy of— we CAN’T. We’re not GODS, we don’t get to pick who lives and dies based on what we—

NEIGE
Do not accuse me of acting like I have a divine right to— I don’t want to be a fucking god or a king I want to— I— I just want want to fix him.

ALFIE
Baby. You can’t fix— you can’t fix him.

NEIGE
But if I. If h— if he can’t I. Maybe there is no hope for me, either.

ALFIE
Oh my love, my love, no. No. You’re not— no. Do you really think he’d thank you if you did this? That of everything in the world, this would be the thing that made him alright?

NEIGE
I don’t want his fucking thanks. I want him to— to be alive. It was all so dark when we met, I— we were the same, I felt it, and the doom inside him was a reflection of the doom in me, and I have to believe he can— he can get better. He can get better.

ALFIE
Sweetheart. You’re not him. You’re not. You have to let him go.

NEIGE
I don’t want to.

ALFIE
Fuck.

NEIGE
If I— if I touch him will it hurt him?

ALFIE
I don’t think so.

[LIQUID MOVES. NEIGE GASPS.]

NEIGE
So cold.

[ALFIE CROSSES THE ROOM, COMES BACK]

ALFIE
Here.

NEIGE
What is this?

ALFIE
A blanket. I— I’m going to disconnect the lines. I don’t know what he’ll feel. Do you want to hold him?

NEIGE
Okie.

[WATER MOVES MORE THIS TIME, AND DRIPS FROM THE THING THAT IS ALL THAT’S LEFT OF CASPER.]

ALFIE
Great job. Sit down, sweet thing.

[MOVEMENT]

ALFIE
There. Okay?

NEIGE
Oui.
Ah, Casper. You remember, in Peru? That man who sold us that awful cure you made us drink?

[NEIGE LAUGHS TEARFULLY.]

NEIGE
We were so sick, and you still made us go sit out in the sun, like it might’ve worked. Do you remember?

ALFIE
I loved how the sun brought so many freckles out on your face and your arms. The first time I remember you drinking from me, that day in the hospital. You were moments from tearing out my throat I think, but all I could think about were your stupid freckles.

NEIGE
Like star dust in his skin.

ALFIE
Constellations I mapped out across his back.

NEIGE
Angel kisses.

[A MOMENT OF QUIET]

NEIGE
Alfie. You’re right. He doesn’t want this. He didn’t. We can’t.

ALFIE
I know.

NEIGE
Do you think he’s scared?

ALFIE
I don’t know.

NEIGE
I would be scared.

ALFIE
Me too.

NEIGE
I don’t want to keep him scared. How can we—
What do we do.
Tell me what to do.

ALFIE
I’m going to take the lines out now. Please don’t try to stop me.

NEIGE
I won’t.

[STRANGE, SQUELCHING SOUNDS. NEIGE LETS OUT A SHUDDERING BREATH.]

NEIGE
How long will he last, like this?

ALFIE
I don’t know.

NEIGE
I miss him.

ALFIE
Me too.

NEIGE
I have been missing him for a hundred years.

[A SOB BUBBLES OUT OF ALFIE.]

NEIGE
There was a furnace, in the other room. Will he feel it, if we…

ALFIE
I— um. I don’t. it doesn’t seem like, nerve endings I…

NEIGE
Will it hurt him?

ALFIE
(Very small)
I don’t think so.

NEIGE
Help me up?

ALFIE
Can I—

NEIGE
I want to hold him.

ALFIE
Yeah. Okay.

[THEY STAND]

[THEY WALK TO THE OTHER ROOM. MACHINES WHIR. THE FURNACE QUIETLY ROARS. ALFIE OPENS THE DOOR]

ALFIE
Should we. Should we say something I— I don’t.

NEIGE
I don’t want to let him go. Now we’re here. I can’t do it.

ALFIE
I can— I can do it.

[A MOMENT. NEIGE SOBS.]

ALFIE
I love you. I love you. I love you. Stupid boy. I love you.

[FLAMES ROAR A LITTLE LOUDER]

NEIGE
Wait—

ALFIE
We can’t, baby. It’s done.

[THE FURNACE DOOR CLOSES]

NEIGE
Wait.

ALFIE
C’mere. C’mere.

NEIGE
Wait.

[FLAMES CRACKLE. THEN, THEY STOP]

[CLICK]

Hello. My name is Alfie Dellon, and I’m a vampire. If you’re listening to this, maybe you’re a vampire too. Maybe you’re a researcher or an academic, or maybe you’re just curious. Or a pervert. No judgement from me, obviously. That’d be a bit rich given… well. You’re going to listen anyway. There’s no point in telling you.
This is not a perfect record of what happened to me. It’s subjective and there are too many details about some things and not enough about others. But what I hope is that its subjectivity is its strength. This is not a story about how I became a vampire. It’s a story about how I became me, and how being a vampire was a part of that.
My hope is that over the next few years, as our understanding of how vampirism works expands, there will be more opportunities to record the stories of others. I for one know exactly where I’d start, if I was going to do that.

NEIGE
C’est moi?

ALFIE
Oui, imbecile.

NEIGE
Rude.

ALFIE
Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.

NEIGE
You didn’t. I was just laying around.

ALFIE
You’re very good at that.

NEIGE
It is my most perfected skill.

ALFIE
You alright?

NEIGE
Ah, oui. We should hunt, tonight.

ALFIE
Yeah?

NEIGE
Is that okie?

ALFIE
You don’t need my permission.

NEIGE
I’m not asking for it.

ALFIE
Okay. You want to go out alone? You haven’t, since…

NEIGE
Ah, non. I would prefer it if you came with me. There is still so much of Venice I need to show you before we leave.

ALFIE
We can come back.

NEIGE
Oui. But…

ALFIE
Okay. Alright. I’ll come with you.

NEIGE
Merci. Are you going to speak about him?

ALFIE
Cas?

NEIGE
Oui.

ALFIE
I… I don’t know what I’d say. it’s all there, in the recordings. Or, you know. The bits of it I want to be in there. What more is there to say than all of that, you know?

NEIGE
Je sais.
Did you decide… the end. What happened. Did you decide to leave it in?

ALFIE
Yeah. I know I said that I—

NEIGE
Non, non. This is good, I think. Right. For you, it began with him. It should end with him too.

ALFIE
I mean. It hasn’t. Casper, he— he’s been gone a long time. Even at the beginning of all this, he’s gone.

NEIGE
Yes.

ALFIE
But I’m not.

NEIGE
Non.

ALFIE
I thought I was writing my own obituary at the start. But it turned out it was his.

NEIGE
I don’t think that’s what this is.

ALFIE
No?

NEIGE
No.
[HE SIGHS]
I keep thinking I am finished with the grief. But then it climbs back up my throat again.

ALFIE
Yeah. Yeah I get that.

NEIGE
Can I sit with you?

ALFIE
Sure. But. I need to finish this, so you’ll need to be quiet.

NEIGE
What happened to its subjectivity being a strength?

ALFIE
It is, but. Yeah. I was doing it when you were asleep because I just thought it might make a nice bookend, you know? I started recording stuff alone. I feel like it should end like that, too.

NEIGE
But you’re not alone.

ALFIE
No.

NEIGE
Whatever you do, if you’re staying here to record it, you ought to close the blinds, not just the curtains. You’re starting to burn on your nose.

ALFIE
Ah, it’s fine. I won’t be long. You think you can be quiet for a few minutes whilst I finish?

NEIGE
Gag me.

ALFIE
I’m not above that.

NEIGE
I know.

ALFIE
You know, if we go out hunting, you’re going to have to put on some clothes.

NEIGE
Ugh. please include public nudity in your manifesto.

ALFIE
Not a manifesto! Just a record! We talked about this.

NEIGE
I still think you should put it in.

ALFIE
You always think that.

NEIGE
Says you.

ALFIE
So what if I do?

NEIGE
Is that a threat?

ALFIE
It’s a warning is what it is.

NEIGE
Aren’t those things synonyms?

ALFIE
Oh, shut your face and let me get on with it. then you can send it off to whoever you like, and we can disappear to wherever you want, so long as I don’t have to see anyone or do anything important for like. At least two years. At least.

NEIGE
What then?

ALFIE
I— I don’t know. We wait until it’s safe, then we come back, try to find a way to help that isn’t— I don’t know. And then I get to see Haley. And my mum. And Grace, and Tammy. They’ll love you.

NEIGE
You seem so certain of this.

ALFIE
Well. I love you. So they’d better.

NEIGE
Hmm
I am afraid that he will become a martyr.

ALFIE
Bonham? Or Casper.

NEIGE
Bonham. But I suppose Casper, too.

[ALFIE SIGHS]

ALFIE
It really does claw up your throat, doesn’t it?

NEIGE
Yes.

ALFIE
Did we… were we right. Do you think? Was it. Was it what he wanted?

NEIGE
I think this is one of those things we will have to learn to live with. Never really knowing the answer.

ALFIE

He never wanted to be a vampire.

NEIGE

No.

ALFIE

Not like me.

NEIGE

Not like you.

ALFIE

Or you.

NEIGE

Eh. I don’t care what I am, so long as I am.

ALFIE

You’re crazy.

NEIGE

Quite possibly.

ALFIE

Me too.

NEIGE

Oh really?

ALFIE

Well I’m in love with you, for starters, that’s enough that I should probably get my head checked.

NEIGE

Ah I see, you’re so right, you’re stark raving mad because of me, not your three point plan to expose the entire vampire population to the world and establish some kind of rights group, that part is totally sane, non?

[ALFIE SCOFFS]

NEIGE

You shine so bright you make me melt.

ALFIE

Fuck off.

NEIGE

Mon soleil. Perhaps that’s what they’ll call you in ten thousand years.

ALFIE

Hmm. You reckon the language that’ll buck the trend and last out millennia is modern French, do you?

NEIGE

If l’academie francais has any say in it.

ALFIE

Maybe we should eat them.

NEIGE

I thought you liked francais?

ALFIE

I do. But change is important, isn’t it?

NEIGE

Oui.

ALFIE

Do you really think we can do it?

NEIGE

What? Change the world?

ALFIE

Yeah. I guess.

NEIGE

Of course. We have plenty of time, and we can be very patient.

ALFIE

Can we.

[FABRIC RUSTLES]

NEIGE

Oh yes. And restrained.

ALFIE
Get off my lap, I’m still recording.

NEIGE

Crucial moments for the history books.

ALFIE

You’re not funny. If you’re going to be a menace, let me turn off the laptop first.

NEIGE

Non! Let it be known we love each other. For as long as anyone who lives whose heard it. We’re alive and in love.

ALFIE

Alive and in love. Maybe that’s what they’ll call us in ten thousand years.

NEIGE

I hope so.

ALFIE

Me too.
Seriously though. Do you really think this is going to change anything? That if people hear this it’ll make them think that, I don’t know. That it doesn’t have to be this way. That we deserve more. That we can have it, if we don’t have to be secret. If we learn to demand more from each other, from everyone else, too. Is it really possible to change the world that much?

NEIGE
Of course. The world changes all the time.

[THEY KISS. FABRIC MOVES. ALFIE MOANS, SOFTLY]

[END]