An Episode of Remnants.

Content Warnings

• Amnesia
• Surreality
• Manipulation

Transcript

APPRENTICE

Ugh. Did I…? 

[FOOTSTEPS. WIND.]

APPRENTICE

Where was I going? 

This place, I swear to— never mind. 

[HE WALKS A LITTLE FURTHER]

What’s… is that a person?! 

[HE SPEEDS UP]

Hello! Hello! 

Wait. No. It’s that bloody statue again. But it’s… it’s standing differently. It’s like he’s walking, almost, I just need to— 

How am I not getting closer? 

How is that— how is he staying far away? He’s not moving. He’s not, and I’m—

[HE SPEEDS UP]

How?! How is it—

I’m not any closer, I’m not any— I should be right next to it, but I’m not, and there’s no marks in the— 

Maybe I’m not moving, maybe I—

No. There are footprints in the dust behind me. I’m moving. The statue must be moving too but it’s not, it’s not. It’s just there. 

Just there. 

And I’m not close enough to— I can’t see him clearly enough. I can’t see his face. 

I don’t understand. 

I don’t understand this. I don’t understand the dust. I don’t understand ANYTHING. 

[HIS LAST WORD ECHOES ON THE WIND.] 

Where’s Sir? Where did he go? 

Where was I? 

We were digging holes. Or, I was digging holes and Sir was making weird abstract concepts and then… 

No. No, the holes were ages ago. There were tunnels, and the statue, and a door in the ground, and we were in a tent and there was no way out and—

And then we weren’t in the tent anymore, we were walking, because Sir had found a remnant and he didn’t want to touch it because it— they hurt him. They hurt him when he tries to read them. 

The ceiling of the tent it was… 

Like the sky out here. 

I can see— the First and Last Place. It’s above us. But I could see it through the cracks in the wood of that massive, round door that I found in the dust. It was above us in the tent, it’s above us now, but it was somehow below us when I found the door. 

[HE GASPS] 

It’s closer. 

The statue is closer. 

He’s standing differently again. Standing. Before, he looked like he was mid-stride. But now he’s standing. And he’s facing me. I can’t— I’m too far away to see his expression, but… I think it’s looking at me. 

In the tunnels, he had a scrap of paper. Sir set it on fire. Then when I saw him by the door, he— he had a scrap of paper again. He let me take it. He let me. And I read it and it showed me… me. Part of me. A scrap of memory. A scrap of myself. My past. With Elio. 

Is that who you are? Are you Elio? 

Hello? 

[FOOTSTEPS] 

Why won’t you let me get close to you? I don’t understand, I— 

AH! Shit. My foot, god. 

[THE APPRENTICE SHUFFLES AROUND] 

My god, I’m bleeding, I’m bleeding, how am I…? There’s something in my foot, ah, shit, it’s, a shard of glass, it’s— ah!

[WHOOSH] 

A sky with a million moving stars careens overhead. There is no pain, no fear, no joy, no relief. Only stars and stars and stars. They swirl, motes of dust caught in a shaft of sunlight, too light to fall, too heavy to fly. 

The dark around the stars takes shape, writhing like innumerable moths, the gaps between their dust-bound bodies letting through glimpses of the light they crowd around. The sounds of their wings grazing one another meld and harmonise, and then they’re a song. Then a voice. 

‘I will be a thing that chooses, and I will always choose you.’

How many times, those words? Whispered over and over, in each brush of wings, each glimmering star, each dust mote in the sun. 

Clarity dissolves and you’re a man on the floor, waking from a long sleep. The room is small and cosy. A soft rug under my cheek, a blanket over my shoulder. A fire burns low, soft heat coddling the room like an egg. The condensation on the window is so thick you cannot see the moon beyond it, but its pale glow fights with the warm orange firelight, casting strange shadows around the objects that are crammed on every surface. 

‘Ah, you’re awake.’ The old man’s voice is unaffected. You know him, but you don’t know from where. The room, too, is familiar. It makes sense that you are here. That you would wake warm and safe in this place, with this person. 

You look at his face. Eyes like stars in the darkness. He’s not old, like you thought. He’s not young either. Of course not.

‘Shall we try another one?’ he asks. 

You’re embarrassed to not have suggested it yourself. 

[WHOOSH] 

[THE APPRENTICE GASPS] 

[THERE IS NO WIND, JUST THE CRACKLING OF A FIRE] 

APPRENTICE

I… 

[FABRIC MOVES] 

A blanket? A rug, this— this is where I was. This is the— the remnant, the shard of glass, my foot! I—

Ah. Still in there. 

Why don’t I have shoes. 

Did I always not have shoes? Or is it like the tent? There and then not there? 

SIR

I dream sometimes. 

APPRENTICE

Sir?!

SIR

Yes. Sometimes I dream there is a house. I wake in the dark, slip out of bed into the hall, only to find—

APPRENTICE

The hallway is barely wide enough to fit through. 

SIR

Yes. I press myself flat against the wall and make my way along it. The walls don’t move, but they are getting closer, the further along I get. 

APPRENTICE

Where are you going, in the dream? 

SIR

I don’t know. Only that I have to. 

APPRENTICE

Only that I have to. When do you dream? 

SIR

I don’t know. 

APPRENTICE

I think you were right when you said something was happening here. That it was about us. About what’s happening. 

SIR

Oh. 

APPRENTICE

You don’t sound surprised. 

SIR

It was me that said it. Why would I be surprised? 

APPRENTICE

I don’t know. You’re sitting there. Where the man was in the… the remnant. 

SIR

Yes. Though I am no man. No manner of living thing. 

APPRENTICE

Neither young, nor old. 

SIR

I think I have done something very, very wrong. 

APPRENTICE

What do you mean? 

SIR

I. Don’t know. I can’t remember. 

APPRENTICE

You should have discarded me. You were supposed to discard me. 

SIR

No. 

APPRENTICE

Then what?!

SIR

I think it’s something else. About us. This place. What it is. The remnants. 

APPRENTICE

What do you mean? 

SIR

They are all connected. 

APPRENTICE

Yeah, to me. Somehow. Not always directly. But they’re connected to me. 

SIR

Stephen Grenville. 

APPRENTICE

What? 

SIR

He was a killer. You looked at his remnants. 

APPRENTICE

Yeah I… I hadn’t thought about him. I hadn’t thought about him for a long time.

SIR

You forgot. 

APPRENTICE

Yeah, so why do you know?! You have no memories of before. Everything fell apart and I—

SIR

What did you do when it all fell apart? 

APPRENTICE

I dug holes. 

SIR

When you touched the shard of glass, what did you see? 

APPRENTICE

A memory. My memory. 

SIR

No. Mine. 

APPRENTICE

What? How could you possibly…?

SIR

I don’t know. But I do know. The memory is mine. 

APPRENTICE

But you lost all your memories. 

SIR

And now you’ve found one of them. 

APPRENTICE

Do you… can you remember it, now? Now I’ve found it and read it? Has it come back to you? 

SIR

Yes. But it’s like a tear in a blanket. I cannot see the rest of what’s behind it the veil. 

APPRENTICE

The veil. You’ve mentioned… I swear, I remember, you’ve talked about it before. Or, a veil. Everything is so fuzzy, it’s hard to… there’s so much, when I try to think about it. All these gaping great holes in my thoughts. In me. There’s bits there, things I understand, but it’s like I can’t hold onto them for long. 

SIR

What if there is too much for you to remember? 

APPRENTICE

What do you mean? 

SIR

If you have been here a long time. If you are just a mortal man. Then perhaps there is too much that you have experienced for you now to hold onto it. Perhaps the holes are there to protect you, from the pain of having to try. 

[PAUSE]

APPRENTICE

We were digging. Digging holes. 

SIR

Mostly you. 

APPRENTICE

Yeah. Yeah, mostly me. Why was that? 

SIR

Because we were not digging. And then we were. And I realised the number of holes was exactly as I thought it was. And when I said you had a shovel in your hand, you hand one. 

APPRENTICE

But I just didn’t notice. I must’ve, I—  I must’ve picked it up. I must have had it for a long time. 

SIR

You wake on the floor in a warm, friendly room. You do not wonder how you’ve come to be there. 

[WHOOSH]

APPRENTICE

[groggily] 

Sir? 

SIR

You see? 

APPRENTICE

See what? 

SIR

You woke just as I said you would. 

APPRENTICE

Well I’d hardly have slept forever. 

SIR

Perhaps not. Is it not odd, that you’re here? 

APPRENTICE

No. Why would it be? 

SIR

Don’t you think it should be? 

APPRENTICE

No, it’s safe here. 

SIR

Why do you think that? 

APPRENTICE

I don’t. I know it. 

SIR

Curious that you should know such a thing as that. It seems a dangerous business, to know. To be sure. To be certain. 

APPRENTICE

Look, what are you getting at? 

SIR

You didn’t fall asleep. 

APPRENTICE

I did, I woke up on the floor and—

SIR

You woke, but you did not sleep. 

APPRENTICE

That doesn’t make any sense. 

SIR

And yet it seems to, to you. It does not trouble you. 

APPRENTICE

Well. If I woke up I must’ve been asleep. It’s as simple as that. 

SIR

And the shovel? 

APPRENTICE

What… shovel. Oh. I don’t remember picking this up. 

SIR

You didn’t. It’s there because I said they were, and then you saw them. 

APPRENTICE

I don’t know what you mean. 

SIR

I think. This place. I think I am a part of it. 

APPRENTICE

Yeah. Yeah you said, before. Before everything fell apart, you said you were this place, that it was you, that… I don’t know. It’s all a bit. Blurry. 

You said. 

You said I’d been here before. Again and again. The dust, it’s not… it’s me. So much of it is me, you said. I’ve been here thousands of times. I’ve— the holes, in my memories. 

SIR

They keep you safe from the weight of it. 

APPRENTICE

But I need to know! I need to understand what all of this is!

SIR

Why? 

APPRENTICE

So I can LEAVE. 

SIR

Why? 

APPRENTICE

I can’t stay here forever, I can’t. It’s not— that’s not how it’s supposed to be. 

SIR

And how is it supposed to be? 

APPRENTICE

Well I don’t know, do I?! But you seem about as clueless as I am so I guess we’re on the same side. 

SIR

Side of what? 

APPRENTICE

Again, who knows? That big door in the ground, at least. I… maybe I dreamed it. Where is it? I’ve not seen it again. Have you seen it? 

SIR

No. 

APPRENTICE

Have you looked? 

SIR

No. 

APPRENTICE

Maybe try. You can see a lot of stuff. Maybe you’ll find it again. 

SIR

Alright. I will look. 

APPRENTICE

Great. 

SIR

I can’t see it. 

APPRENTICE

Anywhere? 

SIR

There’s a lot of it to look at. Perhaps I missed it. 

APPRENTICE

But shouldn’t you just… know? 

SIR

Why? 

APPRENTICE

Because, you’re like. A thing. A godthing. You can see what I’m doing, you know all… you know about stuff, this place, you said it was you. How can you not see it? 

SIR

Can you see all of yourself? 

APPRENTICE

No? 

SIR

Surely it would follow I cannot see all of myself either. 

APPRENTICE

So what, the door’s on the back of your head? 

SIR

Would you like to check? 

APPRENTICE

Okay. Sure. 

SIR

Do you see it? 

APPRENTICE

I— I don’t. I don’t think so. 

SIR

What do you see? 

APPRENTICE

You’re quite hard to look at for a long time. It’s hard to explain?

SIR

Oh?

APPRENTICE

You make less sense the longer I look at you. 

SIR

Oh. 

APPRENTICE

Don’t worry. It’s not bad or anything it’s just sort of. Weird. But not bad. You’re. Beautiful. In that kind of way that’s hard to look at for a long time. Like the sun. 

SIR

Thank you. 

APPRENTICE

You’re welcome?

SIR

I think you are beautiful in the way that things that die always are. The end is inevitable, and yet there you go. Living anyway. You are beautiful like an open wound. 

APPRENTICE

Right. 

SIR

You are upset. 

APPRENTICE

No it. I just. 

Never mind all that. 

I want to understand what’s going on. Why we’re here. Why I can see the place we were before in the sky AND through the cracks in the wood on that door in the ground. It doesn’t make sense. 

SIR

And I didn’t tell you, when I still remembered. 

APPRENTICE

No. All you said was— it was about the remnants. They come and go. You don’t read them, not the same way that I do. You feel them, you judge them. They stay or go. That’s it.

SIR

So why are they all connected to you? 

APPRENTICE

I don’t know, maybe they’re not. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I’m an idiot.

SIR

No. It’s you. They’re part of you. Because they are connected. 

APPRENTICE

But isn’t everyone connected?! Some of these people didn’t even meet me, they’re…

SIR

Torn out pages. 

APPRENTICE

What? 

SIR

You said I tore out your pages. 

APPRENTICE

It was just a metaphor. 

SIR 

All the same. That’s what you said. It’s how you see them, isn’t it? When you found the statue, he had a torn out page in his hand. You read it and you saw yourself. 

APPRENTICE

How do you know that? You weren’t there. I didn’t tell you. And that happened by the door! You said you couldn’t see it!

SIR

I don’t need to see it. I don’t need to be there. I don’t need to be told. 

APPRENTICE

They why don’t you know anything?! 

SIR

I am not a thing that knows. 

APPRENTICE

There he is. The Sir I remember. 

SIR

From when? 

APPRENTICE

From before. Before you forgot everything. 

SIR

You say it as though it simply happened. 

APPRENTICE

It did! I asked you to discard me and everything, it just. It crumbled away and this, this is where we were, and you didn’t remember anything, you just— I just wanted you to let go of me! 

SIR

You wanted to leave and I wouldn’t let you. You retaliated. 

APPRENTICE

No, no! That’s not— I just wanted you to let me go!

SIR

So you did to me as had been done to you. 

APPRENTICE

I couldn’t do that, I don’t know how, it’—

SIR

It is not a thing you know. It is a thing you do. A thing you remember. 

APPRENTICE

I didn’t do this. 

SIR

And yet, here we are. 

APPRENTICE

You said it yourself. I’m just a mortal man. That’s why I need all the gaps in my memory, why I can’t know everything. I couldn’t take it, and when I try, it— it hurts. It hurts me. 

SIR

Memory is not knowledge, though they may look similar at a glance. Knowledge is certain and informed. Memory is a story. One that people tell themselves. About who they are. What they did. How they changed. 

APPRENTICE

What are you saying? 

SIR

You do not need to remember to know. You do not need to know, to remember. 

APPRENTICE

You’re not making any sense. 

SIR

Do I ever? 

APPRENTICE

Sometimes! Fleetingly! I get it! But you’re so— you’re impossible, you say this stuff and you just expect me to accept it and move on and—

SIR

You do. There is a shovel. You woke without sleeping. I tell you I will help, and we are no longer in the tent, and you are no longer hurt. 

APPRENTICE

Hurt? What are you…? 

SIR

After George Peterson’s remnant there was a hole in you. 

APPRENTICE

The hole. The hole in me. Ugh. The hole. 

SIR 

There is no hole. 

APPRENTICE

Exactly. But there was, there was a hole, it was right there.

SIR

I remember. But now the hole is gone. 

APPRENTICE

What should we do? 

SIR

What is there to do? 

APPRENTICE

Go mad and dig holes? 

SIR

No. Forget. 

[THE APPRENTICE GASPS]

[WHOOSH]

[END]