An Bonus Microsode of Not Quite Dead.

Episode Content Warnings

Please bear in mind that this show is a work of horror fiction and frequently places characters in situations which jeopardise their psychological and physical health. This episode contains:

References to murder

References to severe injury

Mentions of blood and blood drinking

Transcript

ALFIE
Uh. What are you doing?

NEIGE
Well. I was looking for clean underwear in your bag. But now I am wondering what I’m looking at.

LIQUID SLOSHES

ALFIE SIGHS, EXASPERATED

ALFIE
Neige. Come on. You know what it is.

NEIGE
I suppose. I think perhaps what I am in need of is some… clarity. So please. Alfie. What is this?

LIQUID SLOSHES

ALFIE
Toes.

NEIGE
Toes.

ALFIE
Yes. Toes in jars.

NEIGE
Oui, comprend.

LIQUID SLOSHES

NEIGE
Your toes?

ALFIE
Yes?

NEIGE
In jars of blood?

ALFIE
Yes.

NEIGE
Human blood?

ALFIE
…yes.

NEIGE
I will ask again, little love. What is this?

ALFIE
I just! Wanted to see what would happen!

NEIGE
So you cut off your own toes?!

ALFIE
You’d prefer if I’d cut off someone else’s?!

NEIGE
I don’t know! Alfie, I don’t know what to say.

ALFIE
Lot of words leaving your mouth for a man who’s speechless.

NEIGE
I never said I was speechless. I just am unsure of what words I can use to convey to you how utterly bizarre this is.

ALFIE
So what, you’re just rambling to fill the silence?

NEIGE
I’m simply giving voice to what I think.

ALFIE
God forbid you have an unexpressed thought.

PAUSE

NEIGE
You’re being unkind.

ALFIE
You were going through my things without asking!

NEIGE
Rude of me, perhaps, but then the presence of toes in jars of blood is not something you can reasonably expect someone to be prepared for in advance!

ALFIE
No. No you’re right.

NEIGE
Yes I am.

ALFIE
Sorry.

NEIGE
I forgive you.

ALFIE
Will you put my toes back in my bag now, please?

NEIGE
How many people did you kill to run this little experiment.

ALIFE
I only killed one. It was an accident, and I just. I didn’t want it to go to waste.

NEIGE
You could have drunk him. Like an ordinary vampire.

ALIFE
I wasn’t that hungry.

NEIGE
Liar. How many did you hurt? When you were regrowing the toes on your feet?

ALFIE
I don’t know.

NEIGE
Twenty? Twenty five?

ALFIE
I said I don’t know!

NEIGE
Oui, and this is a lie, also. I know you, Alfie.

ALFIE
Not well enough to anticipate toes in my luggage.

NEIGE
Zut alors!

ALFIE
Why do you want underwear?

NEIGE
Tragically we all require clothes on occasion.

ALFIE
It is tragic.

NEIGE
Zut alors.

ALFIE
Oh stop it, it’s fine. It’s just some toes in jars.

NEIGE
There is no amount you can explain that will make this ordinary.

ALFIE
Says the ten thousand year old vampire with my teeth marks on his chest.

NEIGE
Yes.

ALFIE
Fine. But I’m not getting rid of them.

NEIGE
As long as you understand this is freak behaviour I can accommodate it, to an extent.

ALFIE
Oh whatever. Sure. It’s freak behaviour. Will you put them back now, please?

NEIGE
Alright.

ALFIE
Thanks. Pants are in the zipped pocket on the side.

NEIGE
Merci.

ALFIE
Mercy upon us all, to be honest.