Click for Content Warnings
- Grief and references to past trauma
- Stereo audio (audio which sounds different in each headphone)
- Distorted vocal effects (echoing, heavy reverberation)
- Static
- Loud Crashes/shattering glass/crockery
- Panic/distress
- Mentions of blood/nosebleeds
- Sounds of emotional distress (crying, gasping breaths)
- Magical gaslighting
Transcript
How frightening to look upon a terrible other and see yourself staring back, as if from a dark mirror. Welcome back to Spirit Box Radio.
[INTRO MUSIC BEGINS, BUT THEN STARTS TO WARP AND BECOME STRANGE]
Hello, faithful…
[SAM SIGHS]
Oh, what’s the point.
[A BOTTLE OPENS]
This wine doesn’t even really taste like wine, I don’t think. I don’t know. I can’t remember any more what real wine tastes like. I don’t know if I ever knew. I remember– I remember, but. It’s like looking through frosted glass. I remember and I don’t remember, and I remember remembering but I’m not sure if the taste is what it really was or just an idea I had.
Like… like the smell of Oliver’s skin. I think I know. I think I remember, the sunshine through the gap in the curtains, the sound of him breathing. I– I think I know what it was, the back of his neck under my nose, and I think I can get it but, then I. I breathe it and it’s wrong, I think. But maybe it’s not. Maybe it’s just. That it’s. Maybe.
What am I even doing?
[SAM SIGHS]
What am I even doing?
[SPIRIT BOX SKIPPING, WHICH GETS QUIETER, AND FADES INTO STATIC WHICH CRACKLES QUIETLY AND NEVER FULLY FADES. ALL THE CHARACTERS SOUND THIN, LIKE THEIR VOICES ARE COMING OUT OF A RADIO]
[KNOCK ON A DOOR]
ARLO: Anna? You okay?
[ANNA SNIFFS]
ANNA: Oh, yes, yes, just being silly.
ARLO: Hey, no. Being upset isn’t silly. What’s going on?
ANNA: It’s just. I’m starting to remember things in patches, you know? It’s coming back bit by bit. And. Arlo. How much of our lives has been make believe?
ARLO: Oh, Anna. I’m sorry.
ANNA: Don’t you remember it, too?
ARLO: Yeah. I do.
ANNA: We were living together but we weren’t together.
ARLO: No. But the feelings are real, aren’t they? That’s what I keep coming back to.
ANNA: But I don’t think either of us was ready, were we?
ARLO: Maybe not then, but maybe we are now?
ANNA: How could we know?
ARLO: Maybe we won’t for sure.
ANNA: I don’t understand how you’re being so calm about this.
[A SHORT PAUSE]
ARLO: Remember what you told me the night we slept out in the meadow?
ANNA: Yes.
ARLO: You said it didn’t matter where we went, even if we went out to the stars, if we were together, you’d be home.
ANNA: I remember.
ARLO: And I told you–
ANNA: You told me even if we were apart you’d keep the love with you, because that’s what love is like. It’s a place you come back to.
ARLO: Well, I meant all of that.
ANNA: So did I. But. We never picked this.
ARLO: Maybe not, but does anyone really choose the circumstances they meet people in?
ANNA: Arlo, our whole life here has been some empty pantomime! We’ve been playing characters, parts, and–
ARLO: Maybe the world isn’t real, maybe the circumstances were faked, but. We have still be ourselves every minute. I love you, Anna.
ANNA: And I love you.
ARLO: If you want to take things back a bit, stop being married, whatever you want, we’ll do that. And it’ll still be there, the love, because that’s what love is.
ANNA: It’s a place you come back to.
ARLO: Yeah. It’s home. Whatever happened to us. Wherever we are, whatever exists beyond it. I come back to you, you come back to me, whatever that means.
[SPIRIT BOX SKIPPING]
[WIND BLOWS]
SAM: Do you… do you hear that?
[WIND WHISTLING?
Where is that coming from? I don’t… I don’t understand. Where is it…?
[WIND]
[FOOTSTEPS]
[SHORT DOOR CREAK]
SAM: White door? No. No, no, no. You can’t be here. This– this is past the point in the story where, if it was fixed, you wouldn’t exist would you!? No! So. STOP IT!
[WIND STOPS]
[SAM BREATHES HEAVILY]
It’s… it’s different this time. Every time it’s gone wrong before, it’s broken at the seams, but not here. Not in my place.
[WIND BEGINS TO WHISTLE AGAIN]
This is my home, my studio, my sanctuary, nothing can get in here, there ARE NO DOORS. Not unless I make them.
[WIND WHISTLES. SOMETHING RATTLES.]
White door. I told you, you are not here, you’re–
You’re not the White Door. You’re the new old window, from the house I remember, with the basement studio, the house the burned down, the window that was never there, the window that looked into my bedroom in the house at Banemouth Road, the Impossible Window from the Impossible House which leaked in and you cannot be here either! You’re part of that other place, that other world, the place where things go wrong. Not my paradise. How. How are you here? I don’t understand.
[WIND WHISTLES, PAPERS RUSTLE]
[FOOTSTEPS; THE PAPERS RUSTLING GET LOUDER]
[SAM LIFTS A PIECE OF PAPER]
Drawings. Drawings of the White Door. They’re, they’re everywhere, where did they– I didn’t do this, I swear this wasn’t me–
[WIND WHISTLES, PAPERS RUSTLE]
But my hands, they’re covered in silver grey, like pencil smudgings, What, what is happening, no. No.
[PHONE RINGS; PAPER RUSTLING; THE WIND GETS LOUDER AGAIN]
[SAM INHALES SHARPLY LIKE HE’S WAKING UP]
SAM: Huh?
[PHONE CONTINUES TO RING]
Uh. What.
[PHONE CONTINUES TO RING]
No, nope. No. We’re not doing that.
[SAM PICKS UP THE PHONE AND HANGS IT UP IMMEDIATELY]
Much better.
[SPIRIT BOX SKIPPING, WHICH GETS QUIETER, AND FADES INTO STATIC WHICH CRACKLES QUIETLY AND NEVER FULLY FADES. ALL THE CHARACTERS SOUND THIN, LIKE THEIR VOICES ARE COMING OUT OF A RADIO]
ANNA: So. Uhh– What do we do now?
KITTY: I honestly don’t know. But we can’t just stay here, can we, not now we know there are other, um. Here’s.
ANNA: Yeah. And the Host, Sam. He’s…
KITTY: He’s our brother.
ANNA: Sammy.
KITTY: Yeah.
ANNA: We have to find him. He’s stuck here too, isn’t he?
KITTY: Yeah, maybe. Though I wonder…
ANNA: What?
KITTY: Maybe he’s not stuck the same way we’re stuck.
ANNA: What do you mean?
KITTY: How much have you remembered?
ANNA: Um. It’s pretty fuzzy, but. I remember there was a place where things didn’t feel so wrong all the time. I remember there was something else, a before. I remember I was different there. Less…
KITTY: Less happy?
ANNA: Maybe. But there’s something about the happiness here. It doesn’t feel right, somehow.
KITTY: Yeah. Maybe it’s because there’s only joy.
ANNA: No, no, it’s not that. I think it’s more like. Maybe there’s something missing from it. Like whatever the happiness is coming from is built on shaky ground, like there’s some missing context.
KITTY: Yeah. I know what you mean. I think that something happened to me and Indi before, something that makes us different from you and Arlo. That’s why we’re getting our memories back faster, like it’s easier for us to think and exist here, somehow.
ANNA: Yes. That feels right. It feels like the truth.
KITTY: You know what the truth feels like?
ANNA: I think so? Though it’s very hard to explain.
KITTY: What isn’t, honestly?
[ANNA LAUGHS SADLY]
KITTY: Listen. There was something wrong with Sam, before. I think he was tangled up in something. We were trying to help but he was pushing us away. I worry that maybe that’s what this is.
ANNA: He’d make a whole… whatever this is, just to avoid us?
KITTY: Maybe. Or maybe so that we didn’t have to be around him?
ANNA: I don’t remember much but I remember I loved my brother.
KITTY: Me too, but sometimes that’s not enough to make people feel they deserve to be in your life. Hells, sometimes you love people who don’t deserve to be in your life. Like our fucking mother.
ANNA: Our mother, was… Madame Marie.
KITTY: M, yeah.
ANNA: You think this has something to do with her?
KITTY: Well, she’s dead, I think.
ANNA: Oh.
KITTY: Yeah.
ANNA: So, again. What do we do now?
KITTY: We leave, I guess? Our little world, Beth’s. There’s got to be more of them, too. And I think maybe we can get through them if we ask that cat.
ANNA: You want to ask a cat. For help.
KITTY: You got any better ideas?
ANNA: No.
[SPIRIT BOX SKIPPING]
[PHONE IS RINGING]
SAM: I can’t hear you. I can’t hear you.
[SAM WALKS, THE FLOOR CREAKS, THE PHONE RINGING GETS QUIETER]
[SAM STEPS ONTO GRAVEL]
[THE SOUND OF THE STREAM]
SAM: What a beautiful day in paradise. I’m going to sit in this park and drink this almost perfect wine, and then maybe read a book? Yeah. Lovely. Lovely–
[PAPER CRUNCHES]
What?
[PAPER RUSTLES IN SAM’S HAND]
No, nope. No drawings of the White Door. No Impossible House, no White Door, no drawings. You understand? Are you even LISTENING?
Who am I even talking to, at this point, hmm? What am I expecting to achieve with this— unless. Am I. Actually broadcasting this?
[THE PHONE RINGING GETS LOUDER]
SAM: Oh, would you leave me alone!?
[SPIRIT BOX SKIPPING]
[FOREST SOUNDS]
SAM: Ah, much better. Hmm. You know, Oliver would have loved it here. Not as much as he loves where he is now, of course, but I think he’d have loved it–
[PHONE RINGS]
SAM: Oh my gods, what is your problem!?
[PHONE RINGS]
[STATIC]
[THE SOUND OF WAVES]
Ugh.
[PHONE RINGS]
FOR THE LOVE OF THE GODS! WHAT. DO YOU WANT!?
[PHONE RINGS]
Fine. Fine!
[SAM LIFTS THE PHONE]
SAM: Hello?
[SPIRIT BOX SOUNDS]
SAM: What is this?
[VOICES WHISPER, OVERLAPPING]
OTHER: Samael.
[ELECTRIC FIZZ]
[SAM YELPS]
[DISCONNECTION TONE]
[A SHARP WIND BLOWS]
SAM: No, no, no. No. There’s no wind in my garden today, that’s enough.
[WIND STOPS]
SAM: That’s right. No wind. Good. Well done.
[PHONE RINGS]
SAM: No!
[STATIC]
[SAM WALKS QUICKLY ACROSS A WOODEN FLOOR]
SAM: Wh— what. Where am I?
[WOOD CREAKS]
[THE WHITE DOOR CREAKS OPEN]
SAM: No. No. White door, you are not supposed to be here. NO.
[PHONE RINGS]
SAM: NO!
[THUNDER CLAPS, A WHOOSH OF WIND]
[WHISPERING, OVERLAPPING. YOU CAN JUST ABOUT MAKE OUT ‘SAMAEL’ AND HEIR APPARENT OVER AND OVER AGAIN IN DOZENS OF VOICES]
[SAM STEPS FORWARD]
[THE DOOR CREAKS WIDER]
[A THIN WIND WHISTLES, AND THE ARCANE SHIMMERS]
SAM: What is this?
[WHISPERING, OVERLAPPING. YOU CAN JUST ABOUT MAKE OUT ‘SAMAEL’ AND HEIR APPARENT OVER AND OVER AGAIN IN DOZENS OF VOICES]
AN OTHER VOICE SPEAKS, SLIGHTLY CLEARER: The end.
SAM: No, no. this place doesn’t have an end. There is no end. I made it that way. I made it so this place had no endings. It’s just good vibes!
[WHISPERING, OVERLAPPING. YOU CAN JUST ABOUT MAKE OUT ‘SAMAEL’ AND HEIR APPARENT OVER AND OVER AGAIN IN DOZENS OF VOICES]
SAM: I don’t understand. What have I done wrong? I’m just trying to make them happy! I only want them to be happy.
[WHISPERING, OVERLAPPING. YOU CAN JUST ABOUT MAKE OUT ‘SAMAEL’ AND HEIR APPARENT OVER AND OVER AGAIN IN DOZENS OF VOICES]
SAM: Please tell me how to fix this.
AN OTHER VOICE SPEAKS, SLIGHTLY CLEARER: The end.
SAM: I can fix this if you tell me how.
[THE WHISTLING WIND AND THE WHISPERS FALL AWAY]
You shouldn’t even be here, whatever you are, and–
[A SOFT THUD]
A box. With a rose. ‘From dad’. No, no, no, he’s not here, he can’t be here, I didn’t make it so he was here! He’s somewhere else, somewhere else where I put him, far away from here and—
Ahhh, my nose, my– my nose bleeding– what. What!?
[PHONE RINGS]
[SPIRIT BOX SKIPPING, WHICH GETS QUIETER, AND FADES INTO STATIC WHICH CRACKLES QUIETLY AND NEVER FULLY FADES. ALL THE CHARACTERS SOUND THIN, LIKE THEIR VOICES ARE COMING OUT OF A RADIO]
REVEL: Prrn!
INDI: Revel! The cat is named Revel!
[STATIC]
REVEL: Mrah!
EGGROLL: Mewoo.
ANNA: There’s two of them.
KITTY: We can all count, Anna.
BETH: There’s, um. There’s more than two.
ARLO: [DISTANTLY] You folks are going to want to see this.
[FOOTSTEPS]
[THE ARCANE SHIMMERS]
INDI: I guess the large white front door hasn’t always been in your living room, then?
ARLO: No. No it hasn’t.
KITTY: I know this door.
ANNA: It’s the white door. Sam… I think Sam used to draw this door.
KITTY: It’s the door to our old house. The house where Sam was born, where he almost died.
INDI: I think he did die there, didn’t he? At least a couple of times.
KITTY: Oh. Huh. I think you killed him?
INDI: Nah. I wouldn’t have done it myself. I’d have asked somebody else.
BETH: That tracks.
ANNA: What do we do? Do we open it?
ARLO: You want to open the spooky door that’s appeared in our living room?
ANNA: Well, we’ve been trying to work out how to get into other areas, haven’t we?
KITTY: I thought we were going to ask the cat for help, though.
ANNA: Yes, but that’s a terrible idea.
BETH: Yeah, maybe you’ve forgotten what cats are actually like.
ARLO: Still. Going through an unknown white door cannot be a sensible decision.
INDI: No, but who cares?
KITTY: Indi, wait!
[DOOR CREAKS OPEN]
[SPIRIT BOX SOUNDS]
[A DOG’S CLAWS CLICK ON THE FLOOR. IT MAKES EXCITED WHINES, LICKING]
SAM: Mmmff.
[THE DOG YIPS SOFTLY]
SAM: What, what?
{THE DOG BARKS, PANTING]
SAM: Hello dog, hell– oh no, you are the Man in the Flat Cap’s dog, aren’t you?
[THE DOG BARKS, WHINING EXCITEDLY]
SAM: Yeah, hey, hey.
[THE DOG YIPS, LIKE IT MAY BURST WITH JOY]
SAM: Okay, okay! Right! I get it, I get it.
[THE DOG LICKS AT SAM, WHINING]
[SAM LAUGHS]
SAM: Yes, okay! Hello, hello! I’m awake now!
[THE DOG PANTS]
SAM: Where are we, dad’s dog?
[THE DOG YIPS]
SAM: The living room. Of course. But what’s all this stuff everywhere?
[THE DOG YIPS]
SAM: Blood. Right.
[SAM’S MAGIC THRUMS]
SAM: Hmm. So why do you think we’re here, dog?
Dog?
[SILENCE]
Aaaand she’s gone.
Huh.
[SAM TAKES A FEW STEPS, HIS FEET SQUELCHING ON THE BLOODY CARPET]
[KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK]
SAM: The trapdoor.
[THE DOOR CREAKS AS SAM OPENS IT, AND SAM SHARPLY INHALES, BUT—]
[SPIRIT BOX SKIPPING, WHICH GETS QUIETER, AND FADES INTO STATIC WHICH CRACKLES QUIETLY AND NEVER FULLY FADES. ALL THE CHARACTERS SOUND THIN, LIKE THEIR VOICES ARE COMING OUT OF A RADIO]
ANNA: KITTY! ARLO!
[RUNNING THROUGH FOLIAGE]
ANNA: ARLO WHERE ARE YOU!?
[RUSTLING]
BETH: Anna! Thank the gods. Are you okay?
ANNA: Yeah, yeah I’m fine.
[WIND RUSTLES THROUGH THE LEAVES]
BETH: I haven’t seen the others.
ANNA: Me neither.
[RUSTLING IN THE DISTANCE]
ANNA: Kitty?
[MORE RUSTLING]
ARLO: Run!
ANNA: What!?
ARLO: RUN!
[RUSTLING, AND STRANGE, ALMOST SPEECH]
BETH: What the hell is that thing!?
ARLO: JUST!! RUN!!
BETH: NO WAIT THERE’S A–
[ANNA SCREAMS]
BETH: cliff.
ARLO: NO!
BETH: Don’t just jump, are you mAD?!
[THE STRANGE, ALMOST SPEECH STARTS AGAIN]
BETH: Oh who cares we’re dead anyway.
[WIND WHISTLES]
[SPLASH OF WATER]
[UNDERWATER BUBBLES, THEN THEY BREECH THE SURFACE]
[BETH COUGHS AND SPLUTTERS]
ARLO: It’s not deep, you can stand up.
BETH: Oh yeah, right.
[WATER SPLASHES AS BETH GETS TO HER FEET]
ARLO: What is that thing!?
ANNA: I don’t know. But I think I’ve seen one before.
BETH: Yeah. Guy. Your fiance.
ANNA: I had a fiance!?
BETH: Yeah, but he wasn’t real so I wouldn’t worry about it. Also you broke it off.
ANNA: Right, right, good to know, good to know.
ARLO: So that thing’s not real then either?
BETH: Dunno. I mean, are any of us real?
ANNA: Not helpful right now, Beth.
BETH: Right, yeah.
KITTY: (distantly) Anna! Beth!
ANNA: It’s Kitty and Indi!
[SPLASHING WATER, THEN FEET ON SAND]
ARLO: Huh. Anyone else feel like we got to the shore much more quickly than we should have?
INDI: You’ve really got to stop questioning the logic of this place.
ANNA: It’s sort of like… a dream.
KITTY: That white door, it used to lead to our house, but you’re right, Anna, Sam did used to draw it. And something happened to Sam, and the house collapsed, but it became something else.
BETH: The… Impossible House. It was part of the forums!
ARLO: Oh, of course! The Spirit Box Radio forums, where all the listeners go to share their stories.
INDI: And all of it is connected back to the host.
ANNA: Back to Sam.
KITTY: The forums, the house, everything.
ANNA: I think he made this place.
KITTY: Me too.
INDI: You see that hill over there? It’s covered in roses.
BETH: Oh. Roses.
ANNA: What does that mean?
KITTY: I don’t know, really. But roses are important, somehow, I think. It’s not all back yet, but I’m getting more and more in pieces.
ARLO: So that’s where we go.
BETH: It’s either that or back into the sea.
[SPIRIT BOX SOUNDS]
[DRIPPING, LIKE WATER FROM THE WALLS OF A CAVE]
SAM: Hello?
[SAM’S VOICE ECHOES]
[WHISPERING, OVERLAPPING. YOU CAN JUST ABOUT MAKE OUT ‘SAMAEL’ AND HEIR APPARENT OVER AND OVER AGAIN IN DOZENS OF VOICES]
SAM: It’s you. You’re the librarian, from the library. Aren’t you?
[PAGES FLUTTER]
SAM: The library looks different now. Wetter.
[PAGES FLUTTER]
SAM: I know the edges are fraying, but it’s okay, I just need to… I don’t know, it needs more detail, the problem is they’re looking to closely at the edges. It’s not meant to hold up to that scrutiny, how can it? There are thousands of stories I’m telling at once, I can’t—
[PAGES FLUTTER]
SAM: Well if it’s not missing details then what is it!?
[PAPER RUSTLES]
SAM: No, no, not this, no! The answers are here, all the meetings with him, my father, it’s all here, I can look through it and I can understand.
[PAPER TEARS]
SAM: What do you mean!? If it’s not about taking every scrap of evidence I can find to try and solve this then what is it about?
[BOOK SLAMS SHUT]
SAM: Endings. NO. No! I’m more than that, I can be more than that.
[PAGES FLUTTER AND ECHO]
SAM: No, wait, come back! Why does everybody keep leaving? I just want to understand!
I just don’t want to be alone anymore.
[WIND BLOWS]
[FOOTSTEPS, AND A FAINT WHISPERING BEGINS. IT SAYS ‘SAMAEL’, ‘SAMAEL’]
What’s this?
[THE WHISPERING GETS LOUDER, SO DOES THE GUSHING HISS, ALMOST LIKE THE THROB OF A HEART, BUT TOO LIQUID, SOMEHOW, LIKE THE FLESH AND BONE IS PEELED BACK AND THE MUSCLE AND BLOOD ARE EXPOSED]
It’s the radio Anna and Kitty gave me.
It’s switched off, but–
[CLICK]
[SILENCE FOR A BEAT, AND THEN A CACOPHONY OF VOICES, OVERLAPPING. IT’S HARD TO TELL THEM APART, BUT SOME OF THEM ARE FAMILIAR; ANNA; KITTY; MADAME MARIE; BETH; OLIVER; EMILY; RHYTIDIA. ALL THE VOICES BLEND INTO ONE GLORIOUS WALL OF SOUND JUST FOR AN INSTANT, AND THEN]
[SAM INHALES]
[SAM IS BREATHING FAST AND HEAVY]
SAM: (whispering) I remember.
[THE OVERLAPPING VOICES BEGIN AGAIN, THEN BLUR INTO STATIC]
SAM: I remember, I remember, I remem–
[END]
Hanging Sloth 